


Reset - The Blue Edition

by SpringFire1994



Series: Rebuild, Reform, Restart [2]
Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety Disorder, Blangst, Homophobia, Language, Multi, Nightmares, Not Klaine Friendly, Not Kurt Friendly, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Burn, swears
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:02:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 30,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28057329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpringFire1994/pseuds/SpringFire1994
Summary: Trent got back to school on Monday evening, and walked into a flurry of panicked activity. There were boys in every dorm; laptops open and phones to their ears; chattering loudly over the noise they were collectively creating in the corridor. All of the dorm room doors were propped open and he caught sight of freshmen, ducking in and out of the rooms; ferrying slips of paper. It was absolute bedlam.“Nixon!” He spun around and saw Sebastian stalking towards him; fury on his face. “Where the fuck have you been?”“What’s going on?”“Anderson is missing.” It landed like a punch to the stomach and he felt the colour drain from his face. It couldn't be true.
Series: Rebuild, Reform, Restart [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2053494
Comments: 9
Kudos: 14





	1. To Need an Out

Trent got back to school on Monday evening, and walked into a flurry of panicked activity. There were boys in every dorm; laptops open and phones to their ears; chattering loudly over the noise they were collectively creating in the corridor. All of the dorm room doors were propped open and he caught sight of freshmen, ducking in and out of the rooms; ferrying slips of paper. It was absolute bedlam.

“Nixon!” He spun around and saw Sebastian stalking towards him; fury on his face. “Where the fuck have you been?”

“What’s going on?”

“Anderson is missing.” It landed like a punch to the stomach and he felt the colour drain from his face. It couldn’t be true.

“Since when?” Sebastian saw how much the news had affected the older boy, and it was clear that Trent had no idea as to what had happened during the last twenty-four hours. He felt his shoulders slump and he ran a hand down his face; exhaustion starting to get to him.

“Last night.” He said heavily. “Montgomery covered for him during classes but none of us have any idea how long we can go without his dad getting suspicious.”

“Why didn’t you call me?” Trent asked; his eyes going huge.

“We did, _several_ times.” Sebastian snapped.

“But Wes should have known to call the house phone, my mum doesn’t let me keep my mobile on me when we take a day out.”

“He said he doesn’t have the number. Something about a lost sim card last month.” Trent swore and took off in a run towards Wes’s dorm. It was like walking into a control centre. There was a huge map spread out on Blaine’s old bed and Wes was hanging over it; his eyes all but dead, Thad and Nick flanking either side of him.

“Did you try Kurt?” Was his greeting as he stalked into the dorm; dropping his bag at the foot of Wes’s bed.

“Where the _fuck_ have you been?” Nick snarled; in an eerie parallel to Sebastian.

“Never mind that, have you tried _Kurt_?” Trent asked again; shaking his head when Nick looked ready to push the issue.

“Of course, we’ve tried Kurt, but the asshole isn’t picking up the fucking phone.” Wes growled.

“Then that’s where Blaine will be.” Trent replied. “Sebastian, go and grab Beat; you, Wes and Thad are coming with me.”

“Edward is in no fit state to go anywhere right now.” Sebastian snarled. “And I will be expecting a full explanation into what happened between you both on Saturday night.”

“Quit fucking around Stan.” Trent snapped back. “Go and get Eddie and meet me out in the lot.”

“Where are you going?” Wes asked as Trent grabbed his bag and headed for the open door.

“To call for back-up.” He dug around in his bag and pulled out his mobile; turning it on for the first time since he’d left Dalton, the previous morning. He was instantly inundated with missed calls and texts, from all of the Warblers. He ignored the buzzing of the notifications and went straight to his contacts; pressing call on the one number he knew he would be able to get help from.

* * *

Mary hummed as she took the tray out of the oven; sliding the cookies onto the rack to cool off for a while, before she could put them away. Her cookie jar had taken a hammering, as her boy had sat on the sofa and poured his heart out to her about everything related to Blaine and Wes. She admitted to herself that the Fight Club news unnerved her, but then again; she hadn’t been a saint in college either, and when you put a bunch of boys in dorms together, the energy had to go somewhere.

She knew that she was now privy to more information than anyone over the age of nineteen, and she had promised Trent that she would keep her silence on the matter, as long as he promised her that they were all safe. Over the day, she had come to understand more about her son’s friendship with Blaine, and was growing increasingly concerned about the welfare of the polite, young man who was the face of the Warblers.

The ringing of the phone brought her out of her stupor and she wiped her hands off before heading into the hall.

“Nixon residence.”

“Mom, I need your help.” Trent said when she answered the phone. His voice sounded panicked and it was obvious to her that he was close to tears. She straightened up; pushing down her good mood and falling into the role of a mother.

“What’s wrong?”

“Blaine’s run away from school, and we think he’s at Kurt’s. If I text you the address can you meet us there?”

“I’m putting my coat on now sweetheart. I’ll start heading for Lima.”

“I’m sorry to ask you to do this.”

“Don’t be silly sweetheart. You know there is nothing I would rather be doing than helping you. Try not to panic and I’ll meet you there.”

“Thank you, mom.”

“Not a problem darling, just drive safely.” Mary hung up the phone and grabbed her handbag and jacket; knowing that the situation with Blaine had just turned a whole lot more complicated.

* * *

“Wes keeps ringing me.” Kurt said with frustration as he pushed his phone back into his coat pocket. They were sat in a small Starbucks; Blaine insisting that they give the Lima Bean a wide berth for now. They had spent about an hour the previous night, just talking and Blaine had told Kurt about what had happened on Friday, and flinched when Kurt went off on a rant about; ‘ _the damn idiots, making you fight for sport like you’re a monkey or something_.’ He knew that it wasn’t a completely accurate description of the Fight Club, but he didn’t try and correct the younger boy.

“Just ignore him.” Blaine replied softly.

“Where did you go last night?”

“I stopped at a motel.” He replied with a shrug. “I met a guy called Sam, who was looking after his siblings. He gave me a beer and let me borrow his guitar for an hour.” Kurt smiled slightly at that.

“Yeah, Sam’s pretty special. He goes to McKinley. Promise me you won’t say anything about it if you see him? The rest of Glee club don’t know he’s back in the motel yet.”

“I can keep my mouth shut.” Blaine replied with a shrug. “He was cool. He’s into comics.”

“You really should stop reading trash like that.” Kurt said with narrow eyes. “It’ll rot your brain.” Blaine nodded, but didn’t verbally reply. It wasn’t going to do him any good. Kurt growled as his pone rang again and he dug it out, his eyes widening slightly when his home number flashed across the screen.

“Dad?”

“No, it’s me.” Finn replied. “I think you need to get back here dude. There’s like a bunch of those prep school boys here, demanding to see Blaine. They’ve got this woman with them; it seems kind of serious.”

“Just tell them all to get lost Finn.” Kurt replied sharply. “They have no right to be there.”

“Look dude, I get it. But the woman has some sort of ID card with her, and it really _does_ sound like he’s in trouble. You’re gonna want to get back here and straighten this out before your dad gets home.”

“Fine.” Kurt replied, through gritted teeth. “I’ll be home in ten.”

“Is everything okay?” Blaine asked.

“Everything’s fine.” Kurt replied with a disarming smile. “But I’m going to need to go, some pushy Jehovah’s Witnesses turned up at the door and Finn doesn’t want to upset them.”

“Oh.” Blaine said in disappointment. It didn’t seem like Finn was the sort of guy to need help with cold callers, but he guessed he didn’t really know him all that well. “Tomorrow then?” He asked hopefully as Kurt stood up and slung his bag over his shoulder.

“Yeah, sure. Same time, same place.” The younger boy replied with a smile before rushing out of the door. Blaine sighed and played with the lid of his cup; wondering if anyone was searching for him yet. He had a bit of a plan; well _half_ of a plan. He would give it a couple of days at the motel before skipping town; potentially with Sam, whose family were moving out to Kentucky, and from there he would be in the wind. He didn’t know what he was going to do, but he figured he’d fake it until he made it, or at least; until his parents cut off his credit card.

He thought about the blonde boy he had met the previous night and a smile came to his face. Sam hadn’t asked him any questions, he’d just accepted that Blaine was there for a reason, and instead he’d shared a beer and let him loose on his comic collection. He’d never really had a ‘ _bro_ ’ friend before; possibly because Dalton practically drilled manners into all of them on week one of their Freshman year; but it had been nice to not have to stand on ceremony, and just relax and have a laugh; telling funny stories for Sam’s two young siblings and acting out voices for each of the characters.

“Is this seat taken?” He looked up and his eyes went huge when he saw Sebastian looking down at him with a raised eyebrow and a coffee cup. The other boy sat himself down, not even bothering to wait for a reply, and he took a pull from his drink; ignoring him for a second as he typed something on his phone. “You know Killer, if I snored too loudly, you should have just kicked me in the ankles like Shortcake suggested. You didn’t have to run off.”

“What are you doing here?” He hissed out when he finally found his voice.

“I’m drinking a coffee.” Sebastian replied with a smirk. “Isn’t that what you _do_ at Starbucks?”

“I meant what are you doing _here_.” He stressed.

“I’m saving your ass.” The tall boy slid Blaine’s phone across the table, along with a brown envelope, and gestured him to take them. “I figured if you were planning what I thought you were; you’d run out of cash sooner or later, so I raided the profits from the FC kitty, you _did_ earn most of it. Plus, you forgot your phone, and Gayface wouldn’t pick his up.”

“ _Don’t_ call him that.”

“Look Killer, I’m not here to tell you what an idiot you’re being, I’m pretty sure you’ll work it out for yourself soon enough; but you really should drop Nixon or Montgomery a text. At least let them know you’re still alive before they beat up Hummel.”

“They’re at Kurt’s?”

“With Nixon’s mum, something Thad isn’t all that happy about but there we are. I had a feeling you wouldn’t appreciate being dragged back to Dalton by your dick, so if I were you, I’d send that text and then book a hasty retreat to wherever you’re planning on hiding out. I took the liberty of adding my number, and I want you to know that you can call me if you ever need me. Day or night, I promise I’ll be waiting for you.”

“I’m not coming back to Dalton.” He said; shaking his head.

“I wasn’t asking you to. Just; wherever you end up, make sure it’s somewhere you’re going to be safe. I don’t want the drama of having to attend your funeral with a dozen angry, grieving canaries. I wouldn’t last an hour.”

“Why are you doing this for me?”

“Because I know when I see someone who needs an out.” Sebastian replied with a shrug. “I know what it’s like to _need_ an out. So, here I am, offering one to you.”

“Thank you.”

“Thank me by not getting yourself killed Blaine.” Sebastian replied; surprising him with his use of his first name. “Thank me by keeping yourself safe, and living your life to the full. Thank me by remembering my promise. Day or Night; I’m there.”

“Won’t they come looking for me?”

“Let me worry about that.” The other boy said with an easy smile and, once again; breathing got a little easier.


	2. Cough Syrup

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, please don't hate me for where I take the direction of this particular Edition. Like I said, it was a plot bunny that wouldn't stop humping, and it bred and bred, and well; I wrote six chapters in less than nine hours. If this fic isn't for you, please wait until I post the Green Edition later this week, or if you are reading this at a later date, there should be both Green and Red editions to sink your teeth into.
> 
> Treat this as a choose your own adventure type thing, if you are two chapters into this, and don't like it; go back and read one of the other colours. Otherwise, please let me know your thoughts on this, it was something a little different and I kind of went with it, so it would be interesting to know what everyone thinks.
> 
> Thank you all for your continued love and support; it really does mean a lot.

_“Thank me by not getting yourself killed Blaine.” Sebastian replied; surprising him with his use of his first name. “Thank me by keeping yourself safe, and living your life to the full. Thank me by remembering my promise. Day or Night; I’m there.”_

_“Won’t they come looking for me?”_

_“Let me worry about that.” The other boy said with an easy smile and, once again; breathing got a little easier._

* * *

**_Four Weeks Later_ **

“Hey Darren!” Joey called out; from the other end of the counter. “I’m going over to Joe’s tonight; wanna come?”

“I shouldn’t.” He replied; shifting slightly. “I don’t handle beer well.”

“Come on man, it’ll be a blast. Nick and Matt are going, and they wanted to pick your brain for that musical they’ve been working on for college.” The dark-haired boy snorted at that. As if a musical based on Harry Potter would _ever_ take off.

“Look dude, I appreciate the effort, but I’m not really in the mood. Maybe next week.”

“Suit yourself, but the invitation is there if you want it.” He nodded and turned back to cleaning the counter; turning to pick up the coffee pot and top up one of his regulars. It had been a quiet shift, and for that he was glad; sleeping in the back of his new transportation did nothing for his back.

He didn’t know why he’d headed towards Michigan, but as soon as he’d seen the diner, on the outskirts of Detroit, he knew that this would be a good place to lay low for a while. He’d sold his car about halfway from Ohio; and bought a cheap van; having plenty of cash left over to buy a small burner and a gas bottle; and had been sleeping in various parking lots throughout the city; coming into work early in order to be able to get a shower and get changed.

Al didn’t seem to mind; and didn’t press him for details when he’d produced his driver’s license, showing a different name to the one he’d given for his interview. As long as he was clean, and the police weren’t going to raid the place, Al seemed content to let him be, and for that he was eternally grateful. It was a good bunch really; although he admitted to himself that Joe was a little intimidating at first; but they were all friendly and had taken to him easily enough; accepting him into their friendship group.

He looked up as the bell above the door ringed and his eyes widened as three familiar faces stepped into the diner.

“I’m going for a break!” He yelped at Joey; tossing the tea towel over to him and disappearing into the back, where he started to panic and pace the room; his hands knotting into his too long curls and tugging harshly on them as he tried to ground himself.

How the hell had they found him?

Had they been looking for him all this time?

He’d done as Sebastian asked and had sent the text to Wes and Trent; before disappearing from Ohio, and never looking back.

_I’m alive. Don’t contact me. I’m so sorry._

He’d changed his number at the first opportunity he’d had.

So, why were they here?

“Hey Darren?” Joey asked; sticking his head into the changing rooms; where he was in the middle of a total freak out. “There’s some guys out front with a picture of you, asking for a guy named Blaine. Do you have a brother?”

“Get rid of them Joey.” He said; shaking his head. “ _Please_.”

“Sure thing man, though I hope the story is at least a good one.” He grinned and disappeared again; and Blaine tried to get his breathing under control, he was going to end up having an attack if he didn’t manage to calm down. The door opened again and Joey reappeared. “Sorry dude, but they’re insisting that they see you. I think one of them spotted you as they came in.”

“Then please let Al know that I quit and thank you for the job.” He babbled; stripping off his uniform and pulling on his jeans and a hoodie.”

“Woah dude, you don’t have to quit.”

“I’m _quitting_.” Blaine replied sharply. “I’m sorry Joey, you’re a great guy, but those guys out there mean only danger for me, and I can’t stay here. I’m sorry.” He pulled up the hood and flew out of the fire exit; sprinting for his van and slinging his bag into the back seat.

His nerves were on fire as he drove out of the lot, and wondered why fate had decided to screw with him so badly.

“I’m sorry guys.” Joey said; back inside the diner. “Darren’s already clocked out and gone, I’m afraid you’ve just missed him. Can I get you guys a burger on the house as an apology?”

“Just please tell him we’re sorry.” The youngest of the boys whispered; his grey eyes; filled with tears and his strawberry blonde hair; lying limply over his forehead. “Tell him that we love him, and will always be here waiting, whenever he’s ready to come home.”

“Come on Eddie. Let’s go.” Another boy said softly; holding his hand out. “I don’t think the guy wants to see us.” Eddie sniffed and took the boy’s hand; letting him lead him out of the door.

“I know he probably won’t come back.” The third boy said to him; sitting down on one of the stools. “But before he changes his number, could you tell him that Eddie, Trent and Wes really miss him?”

“I can do that.” Joey said with a nod. “Which one are you?”

“None of those.”

“Is there something I _can_ tell him for you?”

“Tell him Sebastian said hi, and that I’m glad he’s safe.” Sebastian replied; rising from the stool. “Tell him to remember my promise.” Joey nodded and watched the last boy leave; taking out his phone to send the texts. He just hoped that whatever trouble his new friend had gotten himself into, that he would be safe.

* * *

Once again, Blaine didn’t know where he was going, but he knew that it would be far, _far_ away from Michigan. The bitter irony that he’d been looking into the college here was not lost on him. He would never graduate. Never experience college dorms, or frat parties. He would never stop running or looking over his shoulder. He got out of the city before pulling over and picking up his phone; terrified that he was going to see one of those dreaded numbers pop up. Instead; what he got was two texts from Joey; one relaying Beat’s apologies, and Sebastian’s promise, and the other wishing him all the best, and asking him to stay safe.

He deleted both before taking the sim card out of the phone and putting his van back into drive.

‘ _Just keep going_.’ He told himself.

* * *

Beat turned to sob into Trent’s shoulder, as soon as they made it into the back of Sebastian’s car; and all the older boy could do was hold him as his heart broke all over again.

“I just wanted to tell him I was sorry.” He cried, clutching onto his jacket.

“I know.” Trent soothed; his heart feeling like a lump of lead in his chest. “But it wasn’t him.”

“But I _saw_ him.” Beat argued.

“You _thought_ you saw him.” Trent said gently; lifting the younger boy up. “Just like you thought you saw him in the dorms last week. Blaine’s _gone_ Beat. We can’t keep doing this.”

“But it was _him_.” Beat sobbed. “I swear it was really him. Stan, tell Trent it was Blaine.”

“I’m sorry Shortcake.” Sebastian said softly. “I didn’t see him.” Trent glared at him; knowing that it was a lie; but accepting that it was probably better for Beat, not to feed the fantasy.

Blaine was _dead_.

He was convinced of it. He was gone, and he wasn’t coming back; no matter how many times Beat thought he saw him. No matter how much it hurt to have to admit it to _himself_. It was the only explanation he had for the prolonged silence. Blaine wouldn’t have left them. He wouldn’t have run away. He was dead, and they were chasing a ghost.

“We need to get back to the hotel.” He said softly to the taller boy; in the driver’s seat.

“No!” Beat screamed. “I’m _not_ leaving him!” He fought against Trent and broke free of the older boy’s hold; opening the door and tearing across the lot; back towards the diner. Sebastian swore and jumped out of the car; taking off after his cousin. Despite his longer legs; the younger boy beat him to the door and was soon sobbing incoherently, _begging_ to the server behind the counter. Sebastian wrapped his arms around his cousin and practically dragged him out of the place; shooting an apologetic look to the rest of the patrons; who looked about ready to call the police.

Trent already had the door open; so, Sebastian lifted Beat into the car and locked all of the doors; buckling himself in and booking it out onto the roads; heading in the direction of their hotel.

At least he knew that Blaine was safe.

* * *

Toronto was good. He thought to himself as started to head north. Perhaps he’d get a gig at a bar this time, or a wait job in a restaurant. Perhaps he’d freeze to death on the way there; whichever it was; he had a good feeling about Canada. He passed through the border easily enough and carried on Northwards; wanting to put as much space between himself and Ohio as possible. He slept in the van overnight; and every gas stop also provided him with plenty of coffee and cereal bars to keep him going.

He pulled into the city, four days before Nationals; flinching when he checked the date for the first time in weeks. He’d pushed everything to the back of his mind; the Warblers, Nationals, _Dalton_. He shook his head; he was _not_ going to think about that now. He needed a job, and he needed somewhere to park so that he could sleep.

The job came first; at a small music shop in the city.

The elderly owner had glanced at his driver’s licence and raised a single eyebrow, obviously questioning why he’d not given the name on the card.

“Running from something?” She asked.

“I’m clean if that’s what you’re wondering.” He replied. “Darren is my middle name; it’s what the D stands for.”

“Am I going to have any problems with you?”

“No ma’am.” He replied. “I’ll work as many hours as you can afford to give me, I’ll do all of the gopher work, and I can even set up for small guitar repairs, if you don’t already have someone doing it.”

“You play?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Show me.” He took a deep breath and looked around the shop at the numerous stringed instruments. It was a treasure trove; from brand new Fenders, to second hand Taylors, and everything in between. He finally settled on a slightly scuffed Gibson, that had evidently seen a few owners in its lifetime.

“May I?” He asked; gesturing to a leather beanbag at the back of the shop. The woman smiled and nodded and he sat down to play.

_Life’s too short to even care at all, oh.  
I’m losing my mind, losing my mind, losing control.  
These fishes in the sea, they’re staring at me, oh.  
A wet world aches for a beat of the drum, oh._

_If I could find a way, to see this straight,  
I’d run away,  
To some fortune that I, I should have found by now.  
I’m waiting for this cough syrup, to come down._

_Life’s too short to even care at all, oh.  
I’m coming up now, coming up now, out of the blue oh.  
These zombies in the park, they’re looking for my heart, oh.  
A dark world aches for a splash of the sun, oh._

_If I could find a way, to see this straight,  
I’d run away,  
To some fortune that I, I should have found by now.  
And so I run back to the things they said, could restore me,  
Restore life, the way it should be.  
I’m waiting for this cough syrup, so come down._

_One more spoon of cough syrup now, oh.  
One more spoon of cough syrup now, oh._


	3. Safety

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Green Edition has also gone up guys, make sure to check it out, if this one isn't your thing!

He’d been hired on the spot, with an offer of lodgings and side gigs thrown in. It was more kindness than he’d seen in a long time, and he had almost cried when Bea had shown him his room, above the shop.

“Why?” He’d asked.

“Because I can see when someone is running from a bad situation.” She had told him; something written on her face that he couldn’t quite work out. “And you seem like a sweet kid. You stay clean, and the room is yours for as long as you want it.”

“Thank you.” He’d choked back out; the tears finally falling when she handed him the guitar, he’d been playing downstairs, and telling him that she would leave him to it.

And so, he fell into an easy routine, and she never asked and he never shared. Nationals came and went, and he’d stopped himself from logging onto the show choir blogs, not wanting to even consider the team performing without him, and when the end of the summer came around Bea finally asked the question he had been waiting for.

“Do you need to go to school?”

“I don’t have a school.” He replied stiffly. “Not anymore.”

“What about a home?”

“ _This_ is home.”

“Well, where are you from?”

“Detroit.”

“Nice try kid, I can tell an accent a mile away, and you’re from somewhere in the south. So where is it? Kentucky? Ohio?” She caught his flinch and grinned. “So, Ohio then.”

“Please don’t.” He choked out, and her expression softened. “This is home now.”

“Please boy, you’ve been living in my spare room for almost two months. This isn’t a home, this is safety. What happened to you Darren? Why are you here?”

“Please stop asking questions.”

“Okay, I won’t push any further. But next week you’re starting at the local high school, no arguments. Or you can pack that skinny butt up and move on.” He could do nothing but nod, and when Monday came around, he found himself in a brand-new uniform, with books and a bag, for the first time in months. He spent the first week flying through both the Sophomore _and_ Junior exams, and he joined Senior classes the week after that.

“Thank you.” He said one night, when both of them were sitting and eating dinner.

“You’re welcome.” Was her reply. “I’m proud of you.” He felt like his face would split in half, and his chest stung with happiness.

* * *

Wes sniffed and wiped his cheeks as he stared out of the coach window, on their way back to the hotel. This was wrong on so many levels, and they shouldn’t have come here at all. _Everything_ was wrong. Sebastian was a good singer, but he wasn’t _Blaine_ , Beat had quit and handed over to a freshman whose drum skills had thrown them off three times in last night’s rehearsal, and Evan had point blank refused to perform _any_ of Blaine’s songs, saying that it was stealing and that it wasn’t right.

So, they’d ended up with three lack lustre songs, a half hearted two step and by the time they walked off of the stage, they knew that they might as well have not come at all. The New Directions however, had been amazing; with the exception of the kiss between Berry and Hudson, and Wes wondered what would have happened if Blaine had been up there with them.

“Are you okay?” Trent asked softly; sitting down, next to him.

“What do you think?” He spat out in return. Barely anyone had spoken to him over the last month, and even Trent had been keeping his distance. It was starting to become unbearable. The dorm felt empty without all of Blaine’s things in it, and the only item he’d been able to salvage was the violin that had been forgotten about, in the chaos. The Andersons had come and stripped everything, their faces blank but their eyes betraying their satisfaction.

Blaine wasn’t their problem anymore, and he never would be again.

“Wes.”

“Shut up.” He snapped. “You haven’t talked to me in a fortnight, and _now_ you want to have this conversation? In front of the entire coach?” He stood up and raised his voice. “Does anyone esle have anything they want to say to me now, before we go back to the crippling _silence_?” He snarled. “Come on, let’s have it all out in the open now, so that I can graduate knowing just what kind of legacy I’m leaving behind.”

“Sit down Montgomery.” Sebastian drawled. “You’re embarrassing yourself.”

“Fuck you Smythe.” Wes hissed.

“No, fuck you!” Sebastian replied; also standing up. “You have been pushing everyone away from you ever since…” Sebastian couldn’t continue so took a deep breath and shook his head. “We lost Anderson, and yeah it fucking blows, but self destructing is _not_ going to fix anything. We’re meant to be a _team_.”

“So, _now_ you want to be a team player?” Wes growled. “Where was this team spirit when we went to Hummel’s? Just where _did_ you go that day? Because it’s something I think a lot of us would like to know.” Sebastian’s face reddened and Wes knew that he’d won the argument. “Come on, tell everyone about how you stole the fucking money and went on a bender for the rest of the day. Tell everyone here what kind of a person you really _are_.”

“You have no idea what you’re talking about.” Sebastian growled. “I _don’t_ have the fucking money.”

“Prove it.” Wes challenged. “Because if _you_ don’t have it, then who does?”

“I gave it to Blaine!” Sebastian bellowed; his self-control snapping. After a month of questions, and allegations he’d finally had enough. It wasn’t meant to go down like this. “I gave it to fucking Anderson okay? Happy now? _That’s_ the big secret, I took the money that _he_ earnt and I gave it to him!” The coach had fallen silent.

“Why?” Trent whispered brokenly.

“Because he needed an out. And nothing any of _you_ were doing was working.” Sebastian replied; reigning his temper back in.

“So that _was_ him in Detroit.”

“Probably, I don’t fucking know okay? He has my number and I’ve heard nothing from him since. I gave him a way to escape _everything_. His parents, the stress, _everything_. I did it for him and it was the stupidest decision of my life.”

“You fucking bastard.” Trent snarled. “You let me believe he was DEAD!”

“I know!” Sebastian yelled back. “I _know_. But perhaps you ought to consider the fact that I’ve let my own fucking _cousin_ believe he was gone. I was trying to protect him, just like the rest of you; only I know what it’s like to need to get away from a situation that you have no control over. I know what it’s like to need to _run_.”

“So, where is he?” Wes whispered. “Is he in Detroit?”

“I don’t know. After we turned up at the diner, probably _not_.”

“Driver, stop the coach.” Trent shouted out. Staggering slightly when the driver jumped on the breaks. Before anyone could stop him, he’d practically ran through the doors, and disappeared into the crowds of New York.

* * *

“He’s not picking up.” Sebastian growled; tossing his phone onto his bed and rubbing his face.

“He _has_ to.” Wes whispered; pressing redial once more. “Please Trent, pick up.”

“He’s not there Wes.” Nick said softly; taking the phone from him when it went to voicemail once more.

“I can’t lose him too.” Wes choked out; his control snapping. “I can’t lose anyone else. I can’t.” He shook his head and Nick gathered him into his arms in an attempt to stop him hurting himself. “I screwed everything up. It’s my fault Blaine is gone, it’s my fault that Trent’s gone, and I _can’t_ lose anyone else. I can’t cope. _Please_.” The other boy shushed him and started rocking him gently.

“It’s not your fault Wes.” He whispered. “I promise you that none of this is your fault.” The damn broke and Wes sobbed himself hoarse in his friend’s arms.

“It’s not your fault either you know.” Thad whispered; stepping over to where Sebastian was staring out of the window; across the city. “You did what you thought was best for him, and that’s all any of us have ever done.”

“Thanks Harwood, but I don’t need your empty platitudes.” Sebastian snapped. “I know exactly the part I played in all of this, I _don’t_ need you to try and clear my conscience for me.”

“None of this was _anyone’s_ fault.” David said sternly; standing up from his seat. “There have been plenty of mistakes to go around all of us, but enough with the blame games and the arguments. This isn’t what he would want. I hope to fucking Christ he wasn’t watching today, because I’m not sure we’ve ever pulled a worse performance, and that is on _all_ of us. Do you really think he’d want us fighting amongst ourselves? Do you really think that _this_ is what he’d intended?”

“Thanks to Smythe we might never know _what_ he intended.” Jeff muttered; his eyes locked onto his boyfriend, who still had Wes in his arms; trying to calm him down.

“That’s not fair.” Thad growled. “Sebastian did what he thought was _right_. We had no plan for Blaine’s summer, no way to get him away from his parents, and no clue as to what was going to happen next year. Our friendships were turning into toxic soup, and of _course_ Blaine would want to escape everything that had happened. All Stan did was make sure he had money and a phone. It beats him having run away with fuck all cash on him, and no way to contact anyone.” They all looked up when the door opened, and Trent stepped into the room; his eyes red and his skin pale. He took one look at the situation and strode over to Sebastian; engulfing him in a hug.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered. “God Stan, I’m so _sorry_.” The taller boy just folded his arms around Trent and allowed his mask to slip slightly.

“It’s me who should be saying that.” He replied. “I should have come clean at the inquest, but by then I was too caught up in the web, and I _had_ to protect Blaine.”

“Square?” Trent asked; pulling back and holding his hand out.

“Square.” He replied. The older boy then turned his attention to Wes and Nick, or rather; just to Wes, and he climbed up onto the bed; taking him out of Nick’s arms.

“He’s safe Wes.” He whispered. “He’s _alive_.”

“You don’t know that.” Wes sobbed.

“Yes, I do.”

“How?” Thad asked in confusion.

“Because he’s Blaine, and he’s strong and smart, and we saw him a week ago. Didn’t we?” He asked; turning to Sebastian who could do nothing but nod.

* * *

It had been a complete accident, and now it was going to screw everything up.

**_Spotted; Darren A Bishop, in the choir room! Who knew he could sing? #HiddenTalents #Glee #TorotoTalent #WillowdaleHighSchool_ **

It was the video, linked in the tweet that ensured he wouldn’t be safe here anymore. It was the video that ended up getting shared over fifty thousand times and counting, that would end up making its way back to Ohio. It was the video that would get picked up first, by Kurt Hummel.


	4. The Counter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are now eight chapters of this written so I shall try and get some more updates in this week. I that this fic couldn't be any more random, but I just couldn't let the idea go. I'm not sure how many chapters this one will have as I haven't got anything planned out for this like I have for the green edition. Enjoy anyway everyone.

“And just where do you think you’re going?” Bea asked as she flicked the lights on.

“I’ve left the guitar in the room.” He said softly. “Thanks for letting me borrow it.” He was wearing his boots, and his jacket, and a backpack was slung across his shoulder as he headed towards the stairs.

“That guitar is _yours_.” she stressed. “And so is that room. I think it’s time you gave me some answers young man, so take off that ridiculous jacket and _sit down_.” He paused for a moment; wondering whether he should make a run for it, but Bea’s raised eyebrow and folded arms told him that it would end in nothing but trouble; so, he sat at the table and allowed her to pour him a mug of hot, sweet tea.

“I’m not safe here anymore.” He said softly; sipping on the hot drink. “Some girl posted a video of me singing in school, and it’s gone viral. They’ll find me, and they’ll come for me.”

“Who’s they?” She asked. “Are you on the run from the police?”

“Not for anything I did.” He replied. “I ran away, so they might be looking for me, but I suppose that depends on whether anyone reported me missing.”

“So, who are we expecting?”

“My friends.” He replied; his eyes fixed on his mug of tea, and guilt starting to curl in his stomach. “They caught up with me when I was working in Detroit, but I gave them the slip, and that’s how I ended up here.”

“You don’t think that _they_ might have been worried about you, and called the police?”

“Probably, but it’s whether or not the police will listen.” He said with a shrug. “My parents probably made up some bull about me being away at summer camp.”

“So, you’re running from your parents then.” She said softly. “Was it them who gave you that scar on your arm?” He shook his head and downed half of the tea to try and ground himself.

“I was gay-bashed in my Freshman year of high school. They put me into a private school so that I wouldn’t infect their home with retard or fag. I made a lot of friends there, but we had a huge argument, and I hit one of them. I didn’t feel safe anymore so I ran.”

“You ran all the way to another country because you had an argument with your friends?” She asked, her eyebrows raising; choosing to ignore the slurs he’d used for himself.

“That and my parents were planning on sending me to conversion therapy over the summer.” He replied bitterly. “But there are other reasons too.”

“Tell me about them. Your friends, I mean.”

“They’re the reason I’m still alive.” He whispered. “I loved them so much, but I felt trapped there. I know they were just trying to help, but it was like I couldn’t do anything for myself. I wanted to be _free_. I was scared to leave them.” He let out a sound between a sob and a laugh, bitterness written all over his face. “They were all going to college and I was so scared of being there on my own. So, _I_ left. I know it’s pathetic, and I know that it seems counterproductive when I look back on it now, but I was terrified.”

“Fear makes us do crazy things sometimes.” Bea said softly. “But it doesn’t mean to say that the decisions we make are the _wrong_ ones. I might hold the opinion that what you did was slightly irresponsible but look at what you’ve achieved since you made that decision. You told me you were a Sophomore, and now you’re in your Senior year, you’ve worked two jobs, you’ve gigged in front of a crowd, and you’ve become famous on the tweettube thing.” Blaine laughed at that.

“Its Twitter and YouTube.” He replied and she just batted his correction away with her hand.

“Bah, same thing. But my point still stands. You must have proven to yourself that you can go it alone by now.”

“But I had _you_.”

“You didn’t have me in Detroit.” She replied. “And you wouldn’t have had me here, if you hadn’t have won me over. I spent the first week wondering if I was going to get raided, but the more I came to know you, the more I came to realise that you were just a scared young man, running away from a bad situation.”

“I can’t thank you enough for what you have done for me.” He whispered. “Which is why I can’t stay here.”

“Nonsense, you’re staying until those friends of yours get here. They must be pretty special to cross state lines to come all the way up here for you.”

“Yeah, I guess they are.”

* * *

Kurt couldn’t believe it when he first watched the video. It was definitely _Blaine_. His hair was longer, and his curls were out of control, but the eyebrows, the voice, the song… It _was_ Blaine. Blaine who had disappeared almost three months ago; leaving Dalton Academy in a mess, and facing lawsuits and closure. The tags put him in Canada though, what the hell was he doing up there?

He wasn’t even thinking when he packed a rucksack and put it in the trunk of his car. He wasn’t thinking when he slipped out of the house, in the early hours of the morning; his phone pointing him in the direction of Willowdale High School. He wasn’t thinking when he turned the key and set off from home; only then sharing the video he’d hoarded to himself for the last week.

**_Is this Blaine Anderson? Spotted in Toronto? #CloseDaltonAcademy #Where’sBlaine? #HuntforBlaineAnderson #DaltonAcademyWarblers #JusticeForBlaineAnderson_ **

He knew that the tags were a dick move, but he’d been cut out of any manhunt for the boy he loved; Wes and Trent still blaming him for everything that had gone down. In his mind, Dalton deserved everything it got, and the inquest into a supposed gambling ring and illegal Fight Club, had only been disproven because of a lack of physical evidence.

Meaning money.

And _lots_ of it.

He glanced in his rear-view mirror as he left the outskirts of Lima, and he sent a promise up to Blaine, that he would be with him very soon.

* * *

Wes ran down the stairs at the hammering on the front door; deciding to murder whoever was on the other side of it, in the most painful way possible. He had a therapist appointment in three hours, and he needed all the extra sleep he could get.

“This better be good.” He snarled at the group of boys on his doorstep.

“Look at what Hummel posted.” Trent replied; shoving his phone into Wes’s hands.

“That’s Blaine.” Wes said with a shrug; handing the phone back.

“Look at the tags dumbass.” Trent stressed, and so Wes took the phone once more and read over the tags, his eyes growing larger as he traced it back to the original post.

“Holy shit, that’s _Blaine_!” He shrieked. “What the fuck is he doing in Canada?”

“Isn’t it great?” Beat asked from the side of Sebastian; his grey eyes going large. “He’s alive. I _told_ you all he was.”

“And I’m sorry we didn’t listen.” Trent said softly; hugging his former roommate into his side. There had been an unspoken agreement that nothing on Sebastian’s involvement would reach Beat’s ears, and though it had been cruel, to keep it from him, it would have been even crueller to get his hopes up without any proof.”

“You said Hummel posted this?” Wes asked; his hands starting to shake as dread overtook him.

“Yeah, at three this morning, which is why we’re going on a road trip.” Trent replied. “So, get a bag, and some warm clothes, because we’re already three hours behind him.” Wes sprinted upstairs; shoving a handful of jumpers into a bag, before pulling on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. He grabbed his jacket, wallet and car keys and headed back down. There were four cars already on the road, and he recognised Trent’s and David’s, but the other two confused him.

“One’s mine.” Sebastian said softly from the side of him; seeing his confusion.

“And the other is my graduation present.” Jeff added. “You’re riding with Trent and Evan, then Beat and Ethan are in with Sebastian, I’ve got Nick, Grant and Daniel, and David’s got Thad and Logan.” It was only then that Wes realised that literally _everyone_ was on his front drive and he nodded; locking the house up and heading towards Trent’s car.

* * *

By the time Kurt reached the border, he was buzzing with excitement. Blaine was less than two hours away. Blaine was _alive_. He was going to see Blaine. His phone had been buzzing all morning with notifications from his shared post, and his father had tried to ring him three times. But he didn’t care, because he was going to see _Blaine_.

The last two hours passed in a blur and soon he was pulling up to the tagged High School; just as students started to pour out of the doors. He knew that confronting Blaine here had the potential for disaster, so as soon as he spotted the older boy; his hair now practically curled into an afro; he followed him home; keeping his distance and checking his phone; pretending to be lost.

He snorted when Blaine entered a little music shop; out of the way of the main town, and he stuck around for half an hour; expecting him to come back out. When he didn’t Kurt’s curiosity peaked, and he got out of his truck; locking it up and crossing the road to the shop.

“Hi there.” He greeted the old woman behind the counter. “I’m looking for a friend of mine, his name is Blaine Anderson. If I show you a picture of him, could you tell me if you’ve seen him?”

“What’s _your_ name?” She asked; her face impassive.

“Kurt Hummel. I’m from Ohio.”

“Oh, I had an aunt in Ohio, what part are you from?” Bea forced herself to keep her tone light and conversational.

“Oh, I’m from Lima.” Kurt replied, digging out his phone. “This is my friend, have you seen him?” He turned the phone around and watched her frown as she studied the photograph.

“Sorry dear, I don’t recognise him. Are you sure you didn’t lose him back in town?”

“No, I was sure he’d come this way.” Kurt replied in frustration; knowing that she was lying, but unable to push the point without admitting that he had practically stalked Blaine home from school.

“Sorry Mr Hummel; I don’t know him.” Bea said shaking her head. She knew that Darren’s friends were from Westerville, and she had been getting practice in, against the crazies that had followed her boy home from school, since that youtweet thing had gone out. She’d offered to lend him her car to go to and from school; his van being barely suitable to drive, but the boy had refused, saying he enjoyed the walk instead. Kurt nodded; his lips pressed into a tight line.

“Thank you anyway.”

“Hope you find your friend.” She chirped as she watched him walk back out to his truck.

“Is it safe yet?” Came Darren’s voice over the walkie radio.

“Yes dear, he’s gone. You can come down now. Bring me a mug of something hot down, won’t you?”

“You got it Bea. Thank you.”

“Anything for you.” She replied. After their talk a couple of weeks ago, Darren had started to open up to her about his past. She had sat and listened as he talked about the attack, about his parents, about his friends, and she knew that Kurt Hummel was a sore spot for her boy. He needed to see his _real_ friends before she let that child anywhere near him.

Darren appeared at the bottom of the stairs; two mugs in his hands and his guitar slung over his shoulder. She smiled and took one of the mugs; reaching up with her other hand to brush a few of his curls out of his eyes. He blushed a brilliant red and she chuckled at him.

“I like them.” She said with a grin. “They’re much nicer than that gel helmet you had in that photograph.” Darren’s eyes widened and she realised that he’d not known who had been inside the shop. “That Kurt boy was looking for you.” She explained. “I don’t like him.”

“ _I_ did.” He sighed; lifting his guitar off his shoulder and sinking down into the leather beanbag that had been relocated next to her swivel chair. He lent the instrument against his knee and wrapped both hands around his mug. “He was the first friend I ever made outside of Dalton.”

“You just liked his pretty face.” She said with a huff. “He’s got an ugly heart.”

“How can you tell?” Darren asked with a laugh.

“I always tell.” She said with a grin; tapping the side of her nose with her finger. He chuckled again and the pair of them fell into an easy silence. Things had become much more comfortable with him ever since he’d shared his story with her, and it was clear he had started to look up to her as something of a senior figure in his life. By the sounds of it; he’d been sorely lacking one of those.

* * *

It was roughly three hours later when the shop bell rang again and a pair of boys entered her store. She looked down to the side of her to see Darren snoozing on the beanbag; his head leaning back against the wall and a peaceful expression on his face. She knew he didn’t sleep well; there had been more than a few nights where she had been woken up by the sound of screaming, and she was enough of an insomniac herself to have heard him sobbing to himself on numerous occasions.

He was hurting, and she wasn’t sure that seeing his friends was going to fix it, but she had to do _something_. She looked back up at the two boys and plastered a smile onto her face.

“What can I do you boys for?” She asked kindly.

“We’re looking for a friend.” The Asian boy said softly. “We think he might be staying here.”

“And just where did you find that information?” She asked; glad of the fact that her young charge was hidden by her counter.

“One of our acquaintances stopped by here earlier.” The other boy replied softly. “We just wanted to ask again whether you had seen our friend. We’re worried about him, you see. His name is Blaine, and he has hazel eyes and dark, curly hair. He’s about five and a half feet and he loves music, so we were perhaps wondering if he’d come here to purchase a guitar recently.” She studied the two boys who were shifting nervously, and could see how strung out they both looked, both with dark bags under their eyes, evidence that they hadn’t been sleeping well either.

“Which one of you is Sebastian?” She asked with a stern glint in her eye. When the two boys looked at each other with frowns; a smile broke out on her face. “Neither of you? Well, I know that you’re not Nicholas and Jeffery, so you must be Wesley and Trenton then.” Her smile turned into a grin when their eyes widened. “Come round to the back of the counter boys, but be quiet otherwise you’ll wake him up. And then I’ll have to deal with his grumpiness.” The one who had described Darren to her, moved carefully around to the back of the counter, and let out a sob when his eyes fell on the young boy napping there.

“Wes.” He whispered; waving the other boy around.

“Go on.” She prompted, when he seemed reluctant to move. He followed Trent’s steps with wide eyes and froze on the spot when he too saw Darren. Trent had dropped into a crouch in front of the bean bag and his eyes seemed to be taking in her boy’s face; as if seeing it for the first time.

“How did he get the bruise?” He whispered up at her; gently brushing a few curls aside to study the purple mark.

“Nothing for you to worry about.” She replied. “A boy threw a football at his head, and he knocked the seven bells out of him in return.”

“Yeah, he’s a fighter.” Trent said with a sad smile; tears still rolling down his cheeks. Darren frowned and Trent moved back slightly; his feet folding under him as he tried to make space between them. He looked up at Wes who was still staring down at the boy in shock and motioned for him to sit; which the other boy did without question. “And there’s our sleeping beauty.” Trent said softly when Darren blinked his eyes open. “Hello Blaine.”


	5. Reunite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So folks, I should probably warn you that this fic has turned into a bit of an angst fest as I've started writing it. It feels like this and the Green Edition are polar opposites tbh, and I'm not sure which I prefer. 
> 
> Like I said, this and the next few chapters are going to be quite angst heavy; Blaine's actions weren't without their consequences, and we still have Beat to bring back yet. If this is not for you, then please turn back and go check out the other Edition(s).

She could see the second Darren realised who was sat in front of him, because his eyes went wide and he sucked in a deep breath.

“Steady boy.” She said softly. “I won’t let them hurt you.” Trent glanced up at her in confusion but her face remained impassive. “Why don’t you introduce me properly yes?” He took a minute to gather himself; his eyes fixed on Trent’s face, as they seemed to have a silent conversation between themselves.

“Bea, this is Trent Nixon, and this is Wes Montgomery.” He finally said softly. “Trent, Wes; this is Bea. She’s been letting me stay here for a while.”

“Nice to meet you properly.” She said with a smile and a nod. “Darren has told me all about you.”

“Darren.” Trent whispered. “That’s what that guy called you in Detroit. It was you wasn’t it? In the diner.” Blaine nodded; casting his eyes down to the ground. “I thought you were _dead_.” Trent choked out; finally surging forwards to wrap him in a hug. “God Dev, I thought I’d lost you.”

“He’s real you know.” She said to Wes with a smile when the other boy still hadn’t made a move towards his friend.

“Are you sure?” The Asian boy asked her.

“I’m very sure.” She said softly; with a nod.

“Wes?” Darren asked; pulling back from Trent to study Wes’s face. The pair of them had lost weight, but Wes looked like a _ghost_. His brown eyes were flat and emotionless, and ringed in dark circles. The way he shivered into his jumper was the second most obvious sign of the loss of body fat; the first being his pale, sunken cheeks. He looked half way to death. “I’m here.” He whispered; reaching out to Wes; who flinched away from his hand. The last time he’d touched him had been the punch. “I’m so sorry.” He said; his voice cracking. “God Wes I’m so sorry.” He pulled the older boy towards him and buried him in a hug; his cheek coming to rest on the older boy’s head.

“You’re real.” Wes choked out after a few minutes. “You’re really real.”

“I’m here.” Darren confirmed. “I promise you Wes that I’m here, and I’m okay.”

“I’m so glad I missed my appointment.” Wes sobbed. Darren looked towards Trent who shook his head, a silent agreement to tell him later.

“Why don’t you boys head on upstairs?” She asked softly. “The heating is on and Darren here makes an excellent coffee. I’ll be up in a little while anyway. Are we expecting anymore guests?”

“Everyone is here.” Wes whispered; against Darren’s neck. “But they’re staying in a hotel. We had to see you first.”

“Go on up then, and you boys can stay the night if you don’t mind sharing.”

“I’m never letting you go again.” Wes said; burying his face deeper into the younger boy’s collarbone. “Never.” She watched as Darren pulled back and took hold of both their hands; leading them up the stairs to the flat. She’d give them an hour and then close-up shop. It wasn’t like it was busy anyway.

* * *

“Why did you have an appointment?” Blaine asked; passing Wes a mug and sitting down at the side of him, on the sofa.

“My mom and dad put me in therapy.” Wes replied brokenly; shame on his face that told of a deeper issue.

“That’s good though.” Blaine said. “Right?”

“But you didn’t get to go, and I don’t deserve it after what I did.”

“Wes that’s a load of bullshit, and you know it.” Blaine said frustratedly. “The fact that you got to go and I didn’t, means that you should use every single second of that time, so that your doctor can help you, rather than waste an appointment by coming up here to see me.”

“How could we not?” Wes asked with huge eyes. “Until this morning I’d convinced myself that you were _dead_. Even after Sebastian told us what he did, I had no proof that you were alive.”

“I’m here.” Blaine whispered; taking one of Wes’s hands and placing it on his cheek. “I’m alive Wes.”

“I see you everywhere I go.” The older boy replied; starting to sob. Trent reached forwards and took the mugs out of their hands; placing them down on the coffee table before either of them could spill any coffee. “I had to move back home because the dorm felt so empty, and I kept seeing you at night. I see you around every corner at school, and at the coffee shop, and when I’m walking home. I thought you were haunting me because of what I did to you.” Blaine let out a small noise at that admission and pulled Wes into his arms.

“I’ve got you now.” He whispered. “You’re okay. Just let go Wes.” He felt the moment the rest of Wes’s resolve cracked, because the older boy was crying himself hoarse; all over his shoulder. He looked over to Trent, who appeared to have aged at least a decade and he felt his heart tighten. He’d not lost as much weight as Wes had, but it was enough to be noticeable, and the dark circles under his eyes showed how little sleep he’d been getting. His once strong shoulders were slumped down, as if carrying the weight of the world on his back, and Blaine had never seen him look so defeated.

“We missed you.” He said with a sad smile.

“Please tell me you’re seeing someone too.” Blaine asked; over the top of Wes’s head. Trent nodded, and no other words were needed. It was a dire situation when Trent needed to talk to someone other than his mom. “Come to bed?” He asked and Trent nodded once more. He pulled Wes up from the sofa and the three of them entered his small bedroom. He dragged back the heavy sheets on the double bed; gesturing for Trent to lay down, before positioning himself and Wes, so that he was in the middle of them both. “I missed you too.” He whispered into the darkness; just before they all fell asleep.

* * *

“Do you think they found him?” Beat asked with large eyes; looking towards his older cousin.

“They would have been back by now if they hadn’t.” Sebastian replied; scrolling through his phone; more for something to do with his hands than as a distraction.

“Do you think we’ll see him tomorrow?”

“I don’t know Eddie.”

“Do you think he’ll still have all that hair?”

“I don’t _know_ Eddie.” Sebastian ground out, starting to get frustrated with the incessant questions.

“Do you think he’ll be happy to see us?”

“For Christ’s sake Edward, I don’t _know_.” Sebastian snapped; getting up off his bed and stalking towards the door. “Do you honestly think he’s going to want to see _any_ of us? He ran to another fucking country to escape Dalton. I have no idea what’s going to happen tomorrow, and right now I don’t particularly want to talk about it. So, I’m going for a drink, and you better be asleep by the time I get back.” He turned the handle stormed out of the door; leaving Beat in an almost unbearable silence.

The young boy stared after him in shock before his resolve caved and he curled up on his bed, starting to cry softly into his pillow. He didn’t care what Sebastian thought of him, he just wanted his best friend back. There was a Blaine sized hole in his chest that had been suffocating him for almost three months. He had been terrified at the thought of never seeing his best friend again, and after what had happened in Detroit, Sebastian was making him talk to a therapist. It meant that he’d started to come to terms with the fact that Blaine was dead, and breathing had started to get easier.

Only, Blaine _wasn’t_ dead. Blaine was _here_.

The door opened and Thad stepped into the room; taking one look at him and sighing; moving over to the bed.

“Budge over Prince.” He said softly; using Blaine’s name for the boy. “My feet are freezing.” Beat wiggled to one side and Thad climbed into the bed; wrapping the younger boy in his arms.

“Sebastian didn’t mean to shout.” He said softly. “He’s just feeling scared right now.”

“I just wanted to know whether we’d see Blaine tomorrow.” Beat whispered.

“I know. But Wes and Trent need him more than we do right now. Try and get some sleep and we’ll see what the dawn brings, okay?” Beat nodded against Thad’s shoulder, and promptly fell asleep; his cheeks still red and flushed.

His reaction to having lost Blaine had been the most severe after Wes’s, and he’d shed what little weight he _did_ have, stretching his skin tightly over his bones, as they poked out at odd angles. He’d become clingy, and withdrawn; his sleep patterns getting thrown into chaos due to bad nightmares and insomnia.

It had been heart breaking for them to witness; so, when he’d told them he was stepping down from the Warblers, no one had argued with him; hoping that the lessened stress might help. If anything, it had made his condition worse, and he seemed to drift in and out of classes; most of the time, having to rely on Ethan to get him where he needed to be. They never saw him in the dining hall, and it was like he was a ship; passing in the night, with all the lights off and everything asleep.

Sebastian had finally forced him to talk to someone after Beat had broken down after a weekend trip to Michigan, and a potential ‘sighting’ of Blaine. But it had done little to help, apart from convince the boy that Blaine really _was_ dead, and so he’d gotten even worse, as of late, grief starting to take over his emotions.

Getting the news about Blaine had meant he’d been more vocal in a single day, than they’d seen him in months, and Thad had been able to practically _feel_ the excitement, nerves and anticipation vibrating from the boy ever since they pulled into the hotel parking lot. He felt a wave of anger towards Sebastian for upsetting him, before realising that the older of the two cousins was, if anything; feeling worse about the whole situation than any of them.

He was sure that Sebastian hadn’t meant for Blaine to run off to _Canada_ when he’d given him the money, and Thad could see the twisted logic that must have crossed his mind in order to do it in the first place. In a way Sebastian had been _right_ ; the summer situation for Blaine, hadn’t been even close to getting worked out, and it was clear that he’d been feeling caged in by school, during the run up to what had happened. Blaine _had_ needed an out, and Sebastian had provided him with one. No one could have predicted what he would do with it.

* * *

Bea smiled as she peeked into the bedroom. Darren was curled up against Trent; Wes in his arms; who had quite obviously, cried himself out. She knew that they would all be okay. These young men loved her boy, and Darren certainly loved them back. She closed the door and pottered around the living space; tidying their untouched drinks into the kitchen and putting a few slices of bread into the toaster. She knew that her time with Darren was coming to an end; now that his friends were here, he most certainly would want to go back to Ohio.

She was surprised at how much dread that thought filled her with. She’d grown attached to the young boy, with his soft-spoken manner and warm eyes. He’d mostly sat and played guitar in her shop; there not being much business for him to have to be busy, so he’d plucked away at his ‘rescued’ instrument and filled her corner of existence with music.

She’d never married, and had no brothers or sisters, so she’d thought that her music shop would be her lot in life, and then this young man had burst into her little world and brightened up her days; writing silly little songs for her, and singing them whenever she’d had a bad encounter with a customer. For two months he’d been a constant presence in her life, and she would be loath to see him go.

A noise broke her out of her stupor and she pressed the cancel button on the toaster; in order to go and investigate. She pressed her ear to the door of the guest room, and heard one of the boys pleading and sobbing. She wasn’t blind; she’d seen with her own two eyes, how badly the two boys looked. Neither of them had been getting sleep, and Wesley especially, had been underweight.

There was a small cry out followed by sobbing and she was about ready to intervene when she heard her boy’s voice start weaving music through the air. He was _literally_ singing them back to sleep, and she felt the love she held for him grow. It took a few minutes but the sound of sobbing lessened, and Darren’s voice faded out as she assumed; they all fell asleep once more.

* * *

Blaine jumped awake when Wes cried out in his sleep; and it soon became obvious that the older boy had just been pulled out of a nightmare. The older boy was sobbing into his shoulder; holding on to him tightly and reassuring himself, through his sobs, that this was real. He felt Trent shift behind him and he leaned into Wes’s hair; inhaling the smell of his mint shampoo.

He felt Wes starting to get worked up, so he decided to do the one thing that was guaranteed to calm him down.

_“Baby, you’re not alone  
‘Cause you’re here with me  
And nothing’s ever gonna bring us down  
‘Cause nothing can keep me from loving you  
And you know it’s true  
It don’t matter what’ll come to be  
Our love is all we need to make it through.”_

He felt Wes’s breaths starting to even out and Trent had his face buried into his curls; his arms wrapped tightly around his waist; just below Wes’s. He continued to sing softly to them, and he felt both of them relax back against him as they fell back asleep. He was sure Bea was outside the door; as he’d heard the floorboards creak, but he paid her no mind as he let his voice die away; and his eyes drift closed.

He would deal with everything else in the morning.

Right now, it was all about the three of them.


	6. Consequenses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas Eve everyone, here's a healthy dose of angst to sober you up!
> 
> Hope you are all keeping safe and well, and I'm sending Yule blessings to you and yours. Whether you celebrate the holidays or not, I hope you are still getting into the spirit of the season. Winter can be cold and cruel, so make sure that you drink plenty to keep you warm, and remember to keep those extra blankets and a good book handy!
> 
> Hope you all have a good day tomorrow, wherever you are and whatever your holidays look like, and I'll be back to posting on Boxing day.

“I have to go to school Wes.” Blaine said softly; easing the older boy away from him and towards Trent; it broke his heart to have to let them go, but Bea had spent money on books, and uniform, and had fought to let him take all the tests he’d missed before the summer. He owed her his survival, and he was damned if he was going to let her down. “I’m sorry.” He whispered again, when Wes attached himself to Trent’s side, like a limpet. Trent nodded; a weak and exhausted smile on his face, but understanding in his eyes.

“But we just got here.” Wes moaned sleepily, as he hugged into the other boy to try to fight off some of the cold. Trent wrapped his arms around him and frowned at his shivering.

“Do you have any warm clothes I could borrow?” He asked and Blaine nodded, digging out two thick, woollen sweaters; passing them to Trent who pulled them both over Wes’s head before wrapping his arms back around him. Blaine wasn’t sure he’d ever been introduced to this side of his friend before, but he could see that Wes had obviously gone through hell, and so he’d tried not to mind when he’d become clingy after breakfast.

“I don’t want you to go.” Wes whispered.

“I know, but Bea paid for my books and my uniform, and I want to make her proud.”

“What year are you studying?” Trent asked softly; tightening his arms around an exhausted Wes and sitting them both down on the edge of the bed, so that Blaine could continue getting ready.

“I’m in my senior year.” He replied with a smile. “I took the Sophomore and Junior tests in the first week, and then joined the senior classes.”

“Well done.” Trent said with a smile and a nod. “I knew you could do it.” Blaine blushed right to the tips of his ears, and Trent smiled widely at the colour of his cheeks. “Bea seems nice.” He said, figuring a change in subject was probably safer than talk about Blaine’s studies.

“She’s looked after me since I got here.” Blaine replied; pulling on his school shirt and fastening his tie. “I owe her a lot.”

“Can we come and see you after you get out?” Trent asked softly. “We could go for coffee or something, if you’re up for it.”

“I’d better ask Bea, if I’m okay to miss an afternoon in the shop then.” Blaine replied with a frown; there was a soft knock at the door and the woman in question stepped into the room with three mugs of coffee on a tray.

“I couldn’t help but overhear.” She said with a smile. “And, of course you can have the afternoon. You shouldn’t have even needed to ask.”

“Thank you, Bea.”

“Not a problem kid. Now don’t forget your history essay on the kitchen top; I’m going down to open up.” Blaine nodded and lead the other two boys out of his room; packing his bag for the day.

“What are you guys doing for the rest of the day?”

“We don’t know yet.” Trent replied; Wes still buried into his shoulder. “Is it okay if we bring Beat tonight though? He needs to see you’re okay.” Blaine shifted awkwardly.

“I don’t think I’m quite ready for everyone yet.” He whispered. Things with Trent and Wes had so far been good, but he had no doubt that the rest of the group wouldn’t feel the same. He’d abandoned them, and if Trent and Wes were anything to go by, he’d more than likely done a lot of damage to a lot of his former friends.

“I promise you that it’ll be just us and Beat. He really needs to see you Dev.” Trent was ready to plead with the younger boy but eventually Blaine nodded, albeit reluctantly.

“Just Beat then.” He agreed. “No one else.”

“Just Beat.” Trent replied with a nod. “Be prepared for lots of well wishes to be sent through the three of us though. Everyone’s really missed you.”

“I have to go.” Blaine deflected; glancing at his watch and grabbing a stack of paper from the kitchen. “I get out at three.” Trent nodded; knowing that this was as much as he was going to get out of the younger boy. He coaxed Wes out of his side, so that they could follow Blaine downstairs and into the shop and watched as Blaine hugged Bea.

“Have a good day.” She said with a smile; straightening his tie with a fond smile. “And don’t worry about tonight, I’ll be fine on my own.”

“Are you sure…”

“ _Yes_ Darren. Now go and see your friends.” He nodded and smiled and Trent pushed Wes in his direction as he headed out of the door; the other boy automatically following Blaine, in his sleep addled state.

“Thank you.” He said when he was finally alone with Bea. “For keeping him safe, and giving him a home.”

“You just make sure that you look after him this time.” She said; wagging a finger at him. “None of this bull about him not being strong enough. He’s made it this far on his own in the last three months. He’s held down two stable jobs and managed to get himself into his Senior year. Trust that he’s strong and smart enough to cope.”

“It’s a mistake I will never make again.” Trent promised solemnly. “It turns out that I might have been projecting some of my own insecurities onto him, but I know how to identify and fix that now.”

“Then I’m sure you’ll all do fine.”

“I’m not sure whether we’ll see you tonight, but we’ll definitely see you before we go.”

“Of that, I have no doubts.” She said with a smile; knowing that there was no way they were going to let him out of their sight for the next few days. “Now off you go, and remember what I said.”

“Yes ma’am.” Trent replied with a nod, and went to prize Wes from around Blaine’s waist.

* * *

“Does he still have all the hair, like in the video? Is he okay? Does he want to see us? Can we go and see _him_?” Beat’s questions came in thick and fast and Trent could see that Wes was starting to struggle.

“Slow down Eddie.” Sebastian drawled from where he was leaning against the wall; his arms crossed over his chest.

“Yes, he still has the same hair as in the video.” Trent said softly; nodding his thanks at Sebastian. “He looks well, and he wants to see you when he gets out of school.”

“Where are we all going? Does he have his own house? Are we all going out for dinner?”

“Eddie!” Sebastian snapped; and the young boy’s eyes went down into his lap; his eyes tearing up. Trent sighed at the slight tremble in Beat’s lip and he pulled him into a hug.

“You, Wes and I are going to meet him outside the school and go for coffee together. He’s renting a room above a music shop, and the three of us, will probably have dinner back here. Blaine’s not ready to see everyone at once just yet, and we need to give him a little bit of time and space to work things out. We’re in _his_ territory now, and we could quite easily lose him to the wind if we push him too fast, too quickly.”

“He doesn’t want to see the others?” Beat asked with large eyes.

“That’s not what I said Prince.” Trent replied. “You weren’t listening, were you?”

“But when are we going back?”

“Not before the weekend.” Trent replied. “I have already spoken to Headmaster Montgomery about you all, and us seniors don’t start college for another week. That gives us four days, up to Sunday, for us all to see him, and even if he decides he doesn’t want to, that’s his choice to make.”

“But we came all this way.”

“I know Beat.” Trent said softly; pulling back to make eye contact with the younger boy. “But Blaine ran away for a _reason_. None of us can expect things to go back to the way they were, and three months is a long time for him and his recovery. He might not be the same person anymore.”

“Yes, he _is_.” Beat snapped petulantly. “He’s Blaine, and he’s my friend, and I’m not letting you do this to him.”

“I’m not doing anything Beat…”

“You’re keeping him away from everyone. You’re keeping him away from _me_. You haven’t even booked him a room yet.”

“Beat, Blaine might not want to go back to Ohio.” Trent said; trying to make this as painless for the boy as possible. “He has someone really looking after him here, and no doubt he has some new friends at school. Besides, he’s _safe_ up here. If he goes back to Ohio, he might get into trouble for what happened at Dalton.”

“But…” Beat’s lip started quivering again and Trent passed him off to Wes; the pair of them clinging to each other desperately. “What about _me_?” He heard the younger boy sob out into Wes’s shoulder and he rubbed at his eyes; exhaustion starting to get to him.

He didn’t have the energy to be dealing with all of this, and the tiredness he’d felt _before_ Blaine had run away, was nothing compared to what he was feeling now. He knew that rushing up here without a solid plan had been a mistake and he was honest enough to admit to himself that he just wanted to curl up in his mother’s arms for a few days and sleep this nightmare off.

“Do you think he knows?” Sebastian asked; from his spot by the wall. Trent knew what he was asking.

“No. I don’t think he has any idea what has gone down. We didn’t really talk much last night, but I’m under no illusions. The conversation _is_ coming.”

“You know that you have to tell him _everything_ , right? You can’t keep anything to yourself in order to try and ‘protect’ him. He needs to know before he makes a rash decision.”

“I’ll tell him Sebastian.” Trent said with a sigh; running his hand down his face. “You can trust me.”

“Trusting you is what got me into this mess in the first fucking place.” Sebastian muttered. Trent took that as a fair point; he’d dragged the younger boy into a situation, not of his own making, and then dumped the mess into his lap.

“I’m sorry.” He’d said those words so many times, they were starting to sound empty; even to his own ears.

* * *

Blaine drifted through the day in somewhat of a haze. It felt as though he was dreaming, and he had to wake himself up. He had known that they would find him; and perhaps, by staying with Bea after the video had gone up; he’d _wanted_ to be found. He could have just as easily run again, but instead he’d stayed, and now they were here.

He was concerned about the fact that Kurt had been the first one to arrive; surely, he’d have told them? He knew that despite everything they had gone through; that the guys were still his friends, and he’d expected all of them to turn up together.

The fact that it had been Kurt who had followed him home last night, also unnerved him. He’d forced himself to keep walking, and had fought against his instinct to run back to safety, the idea of the younger boy following him like a creep, rather than talking to him, had honestly scared him. He’d never been so thankful for Bea, until she started to turn away crazy after crazy. The video that had gone out, had attracted all kinds of people, and he’d booked it down the road, towards Bea’s; numerous times over the past couple of weeks.

“Hey Darren! Hold up a minute!” He turned to see Isabelle; pushing through the crowds and he continued walking; wanting to be anywhere _but_ near the girl who had posted the video of him in the first place. “Darren!”

“Go away Isabelle.” He snapped when she shouted him again. If he managed to reach his classroom before the bell; he would be safe. He tensed when a hand caught his wrist and he spun around to find Isabelle, breathing heavily; her eyes blown wide.

“Please Dare, I just wanted to apologise.”

“For what?” He growled. “Putting me out on the internet without my permission? Attracting a new brand of crazies to my door? You put me in more danger than you can imagine with your silly little stunt, now please, leave me _alone_.” He ripped his wrist out of her hand and was half way down the corridor; when she called again.

“Blaine Anderson!” He stopped dead in his tracks; his back tense and his hands curled up into fists. “That’s your name isn’t it?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He hissed out. She approached him once more and this time, took hold of his hand; dragging him into the girl’s bathroom.

“Blaine Devon Anderson.” She said again; an unimpressed expression on her face. “You were born in Westerville Ohio, and you went to Dalton Academy; where you _should_ have led your acapella team to a Nationals victory this year in New York.” She reminded him too much of Rachel in that moment; her hands on her hips and her lips pouting.

“Again, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“I’m talking about _this_.” She said; digging her mobile out and shoving it into his face. The familiar video was attached to a re-tweet, that had, in turn; been retweeted almost two, hundred thousand times.

It was attached to _Kurt’s_ tweet.

“As soon as I saw it, I looked into the name Blaine Anderson.” She growled. “You’ve been missing, and presumed dead for over three _months_.”

“And now, thanks to _you_ , I’ve been found.” He snapped; his heart hammering madly as he read over the tags; what the _hell_ had Kurt been thinking? “Thanks to you, some people have turned up looking for me, and are probably planning on dragging me back to Ohio, to be institutionalised by my parents.” Her breath hitched and for the first time since they’d met, she really _looked_ at the short boy they had all grown fond of.

His shoulders were tense, and he had a hard, defensive expression on his face. There were dark circles under his eyes and she realised that the hand holding her phone was shaking slightly.

“Darren…” She breathed; her eyes wide; as it sunk in that he wasn’t just any old runaway.

“They already wanted me in conversion therapy.” He continued; depositing her phone on the side of the sink before his hands came up to tug on his hair. “And now they’re probably looking for a padded cell they can shove me in, to stop them from having to deal with a _retarded delinquent_ too. It wasn’t bad enough that I was gay, I had to get myself attacked for it.”

“Darren stop.” She begged; pulling his hands away from his hair. “Please stop, I’m so sorry.” She was in tears; her eyes red, and her nose starting to run.

“You’ve put me in so much danger, but it isn’t _you_ who is going to have to face the consequences of your actions is it?” He growled. “You stand there apologising, when you have no _real_ idea of what danger _is_. Do you know what they do to people like me in those ‘ _retreats_ ’? Do you know how many people have committed suicide; after their parents put them in conversion; to try and _cleanse_ them of their sin?”

“Darren.”

“You fucked up Isabelle.” He snapped; cutting her off once more. “Let this be a _very_ hard life lesson for you.” He stalked out of the bathroom and towards the reception; intent on signing himself out.

He was done for the day.


	7. Fear and Anger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Hope you all had a good Christmas yesterday! I thought I'd just update this fic today, as I have twice as many chapters written for this, as I do for the Green Edition. 
> 
> I have a rough idea of where I'm taking this fic now, but I have no idea how many chapters it will take for me to get there. As always, I'm writing things on the fly, and hoping that they land relatively well.
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoy the chapter!

“Where _is_ he?” Beat asked; bouncing on the balls of his feet as they waited outside of the school for Blaine to appear. “He should be out by now.” The bell had gone half an hour before, and most of the crowd outside of the school, had dispersed, but there was still no sign of Blaine. Wes and Trent looked at each other in concern, and a feeling of dread settled in their stomachs, like a lump of lead.

“Perhaps he just got a little caught up.” Trent said softly; in an attempt to sound convincing (it didn’t work). “He’ll be here soon.” A buzz broke their attention away from the doors, and Trent dug out his mobile; his heart skipping a beat when he saw a text from an unknown number.

_This is my number. I had to leave school early. I’m at the shop with Bea. I’m sorry, I don’t think I can do this. ~ Darren_

“Who’s that?” Wes asked, when Trent’s eyes filled with tears.

“Blaine. He had to leave school early and he’s back at the shop.”

“Then what are we waiting for?” Beat asked; with wide eyes, opening the car door. “Let’s go.”

“What is it?” Wes asked again, when Trent didn’t look up from his phone. “Trent, what’s wrong?”

“He doesn’t want to see us.” The other boy replied softly. Wes took the phone from him and sniffled as he read over the text, trying to hold it together, for Beat’s sake more than his own.

“What do you mean he doesn’t want to see us? The boy in question asked with wide eyes. He was sat on the edge of the back seat; his legs hanging out of the door and his arms wrapped around his stomach. “He promised.”

He looked so small.

“I know Ed.” Trent said softly; moving over to comfort the younger boy, who was clearly close to tears yet again. “But Blaine is probably scared right now, and we need to try and be patient with him.”

“He’s not Blaine.” Wes muttered, still staring at the phone. “Not anymore.”

“Wes…”

“No Trent.” Wes snapped. “Look at what I’ve done to him. He didn’t even sign his fucking text with his _own_ name. I’ve fucking killed him. I’ve killed my best friend.”

“You can’t do this to yourself.” Trent said softly; moving back over to Wes, to take his phone and slide into his pocket. “This is not your fault.” The situation was deteriorating quickly and he knew that he had to get them out of there, before he had a breakdown of his own. He was so fucking _tired_.

“How can you say that?! How can you fucking stand there and tell me that everything is going to be okay? He’s gone Trent. _This_ isn’t Blaine.”

“And this isn’t you either.” Trent snapped harshly. “The last three months have changed _everyone_ Wes, but it doesn’t mean we’re not still _us_. Blaine is the face he shows the world, Devon is the face he shows _us_ , and Darren is the face he’s hiding behind because he’s probably terrified that we are going to drag him back to Lima and back to his parents. He’s still all of those people Wes. He’s still our best friend.”

“Then why won’t he see us?” Wes asked; his voice cracking. “Why won’t he see _me_?” Trent sighed and wrapped his arms around the other boy; chancing a glance at Beat, who was staring back at the school; a far-off expression on his face and tears running down his cheeks.

Trent didn’t know what he’d expected to confronted when they’d chased Blaine clear into another country. He hadn’t known what they were going to find. He’d been so focused on the fact that Blaine was alive and _safe_ , that nothing else had even given the chance to cross his thoughts. It had been a mistake to turn up mob handed. If Blaine couldn’t even meet the three of them for coffee, how could they expect him to want to see everyone else? It was all turning to shit and he could do nothing to stop it.

“I want to see him.” Beat whispered hollowly.

“Eddie.” Trent whispered; his arms still around Wes as the other boy started to cry again.

“No, I _want_ to see him.” Beat snapped; his face hard. “We came all the way up here, the least he could do is show us the fucking courtesy of seeing us.”

“Language.” Trent warned.

“Right now, I couldn’t give a shit.” Beat snapped back, anger taking over. “And fuck you, for being a hypocrite, when you swear more than I do. We drove fucking _miles_ to see him, after three months of thinking he was fucking _dead_ , and now he won’t even go to coffee with us. I _want_ to see Blaine, and you _will_ take me there or so help me god, I’ll find him my fucking self.” Trent and Wes were watching on in shock as Beat’s tirade got louder and more vicious. It was the most animate they’d seen him in months, and it was testament to how much Blaine’s disappearance had affected the young boy.

“You have to calm down.” Trent finally said sternly, when Beat’s face started to get red. He pulled away from Wes and went to steady him; lest he get light headed and fall out of the car. “You’ve barely been eating or sleeping, and getting your temper up is going to make you dizzy. Just calm down for me and let’s go back to the hotel. We can sort out from there.”

“I’m not going back until I’ve seen Blaine.”

“Beat…”

“ _No_.”

“Please.”

“I said NO!” Beat screamed. “I’m in fucking _therapy_ because of that asshole! He messed us all up, he messed _everything_ up. I can’t sit in a fucking hotel room until he decides to grace us with his fucking presence. I thought he was fucking _dead_! He left us. He left _me_.”

“You are in no fit state to see him.” Trent said sternly; glancing back to a spaced-out Wes, to make sure that the other boy was okay. As soon as he saw that Wes’s tears had stopped; and he didn’t look as though he was about to collapse; he turned his attention back to Beat and levelled him with a glare. “If you go in; all guns blazing, then we _will_ lose him again, and maybe for good. You have to calm yourself down and let that rational mind, I know you possess; take over. You’ll get to see him before we go, and now that I have his number, I can text him to arrange another attempt, but right now we have to be so careful we don’t scare him off.”

He stared the younger boy down; his eyes hard as he tried to convey how much of a bad idea it was to see Blaine in the state, they were all in. His own rant had made his head spin slightly, and he knew that he realistically needed to spend the afternoon sleeping. But; once again, his friends needed him to be the strong one, and so he swallowed down his nausea and continued to glare at Beat; willing him to back down.

“It’s hard.” Beat whispered; his anger dissipating, and he slumped back down onto the seat; his shoulders curling up and his arms going around his waist to hug his stomach.

“I know Ed.” Trent said softly; sighing in relief. “But we _can_ and _will_ get through this.”

“It’s my fault you know. I wanted to go with him to the dorm to get his stuff, but he told me to back with Sebastian, and I just _left_ him. I should have stayed with him; I should have gone.”

“Blaine would never have wanted you to start hovering over him Eddie.” Trent whispered; his heart clenching at the thought of the young boy carrying unnecessary guilt around with him. “That is the mistake _we_ made. You would have just ended up pushing him further away.”

“But if I’d have gone with him…”

“Then maybe you would have been able to stop him, or maybe you’d have made everything worse. People don’t just make the decision to run away Eddie; Blaine would have unconsciously known what he was going to do, the minute he picked those keys up. By that point; there was nothing any of us would have been able to do.” The words sounded hollow, even to his own ears; but he had to do _something_ to stop the impeding disaster.

* * *

Blaine was again; half way down the stairs with his backpack when Bea appeared at the bottom of them. She crossed her arms and levelled him with a glare that had him stopping in his tracks instantaneously.

“You can’t do this to yourself.” She said sternly. “You need them, and they need _you_.”

“I can’t stay here Bea.” He whispered; shaking his head. “I _can’t_.”

“Yes, you can, and you _will_. Do you think that life gets any easier after high school? Do you think that you just magically stop having arguments, or fears? You run away now and you’ll be running forever. I have learnt a lot about you in the past two months, and you are many things boy, but a coward _isn’t_ one of them.”

“Then you don’t know me at all.” He hissed; angrily. “I ran away from two high schools. I ran away from people who _loved_ me. I ran away from my _parents_. I’ve been running ever since the attack, and I don’t know if I will ever _stop_. I _am_ a coward Bea, I always have been, and I always will be. For Christ’s sake, I ran away from a _coffee_ date. A coffee date with three of the best friends I ever had.”

“You haven’t run _yet_.”

“Because you’re stood in my way.”

“And in ten years, when you’re sat eating dinner with any one of those boys; you’ll thank me for it.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Yes Darren, I _do_. Do you honestly think I haven’t run away from anything in my own life? Do you honestly think I don’t have regrets, and wish that someone would have been there from making the stupid mistakes I did? I ran from love; I ran from happiness; and now look at me. I own a business that is going under, and have no family to speak of. I had my chances when I was your age, and I blew them all. I’m _not_ letting you make that same mistake. Text them Darren. Tell them you’ll see them.”

“Bea…”

“Do it.” She growled. “And put that backpack back in your room; I’m not letting you go anywhere without a packed lunch, so stop being silly, and at least take advantage of my hospitality a little longer.” She moved from the bottom of the stairs and Blaine sank down to sit on the step; his hands coming up to his face as he let out a groan.

The thought of seeing Beat had him wanting to rush to the nearest toilet and empty his stomach. He wasn’t ready to see the disappointment. The _abandonment_. He wasn’t ready to see anymore consequences of his own actions. Seeing Wes and Trent had already been enough.

“I don’t hear texting!” Bea called from within the shop, and Blaine groaned again; taking out his phone.

_I’ll do it. Half an hour; at the shop. ~ Darren_

He dragged his bag back up into his room; picking up his guitar, before making his way back down the stairs and into the shop. Bea didn’t say anything; but nodded to him when he settled into his usual spot behind her counter; a proud look on her face. He felt some of the nerves lift from his stomach. As long as he had her; he could do this.

* * *

“Is that another text?” Wes asked as they made their way back to the hotel. As soon as Beat had conceded; Trent had them all bundled back into his car and on their way; probably hoping to avoid anymore protests from the young boy in the back seats.

“Look for me, would you?” Trent asked; pulling his phone out of his pocket and handing it to Wes. “It’s probably one of the guys.” Wes’s breath hitched as he opened the text, and his eyes flickered over it for a second; trying to take the information in.

“He say’s he’ll do it.” He whispered. “He’s still at the shop.” Trent took no time at all to swing the car around, and soon they were heading back towards the centre of town.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that Beat's outburst seemed uncharacteristic, and there will be more of the same behaviour coming. Blaine leaving really messed with a lot of things and our boys are all going to seem a little OOC.


	8. Seperation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, sorry I didn't post yesterday, I guess work has been kind of catching up on me as I slept for most of the afternoon. I guess working non-stop over the last few days has tired me out.
> 
> I'm going to put a TRIGGER WARNING here -for mentions of depression. If you are struggling, or need help, then please call your local charity. There are people out there who are trained to help you. You might feel like you are alone, but you are NOT. Mental health has been such a huge talking point this year because of all of the lockdowns, and as we head into another wave of infections here in the UK, it looks like the start of 2021 isn't going to be much better. So please, if you are feeling down, or having thoughts of suicide or self-harm, please contact your local charities, or even reach out to someone online, just don't suffer in silence.

Beat let out a small noise when his eyes landed on Blaine; napping in the same spot Trent and Wes had found him; the day before. The feeling of déjà vu; knocked the two older boys for six; as their eyes raked over Blaine’s messy curls and dark circled eyes and Trent could feel himself well up as he properly took in just how exhausted Blaine looked.

“Careful how you wake him.” Bea said gently to the young boy; who was reaching out to her charge. If she was worried that Wes was underweight; then her concern grew tenfold when she looked over the tiny boy who seemed to be shivering; even in a jacket and several jumpers. His hair was strawberry blond in colour, but hung limply against his forehead; any evidence of curls non-existent. His eyes were haunted and dull; bags hanging under them; giving the appearance that they were sinking into his skull, just as his cheeks had done; his cheek bones sticking out sharply from under papery skin.

“Maybe we should go come back later.” Trent whispered softly; reaching out for the younger boy. “Let him sleep a while longer.”

“No.” Was Beat’s reply; accentuated with a head shake. “I’ve waited long enough.” He reached out once more and laid his palm against Blaine’s cheek; feeling warmth soak through him at the realisation that Blaine was _real_. The older boy’s brown eyes flickered open, and Beat couldn’t help but smile at the way he squinted as the light hit his eyes. “Hello Blaine.” He whispered.

“Beat?”

“You’re alive.” The younger boy said softly; his voice cracking. “Oh my God Devon, you’re _actually_ alive.” Blaine’s eyes widened at the sight of him, and he had soon gathered Beat into his arms; concerned at how tiny the boy seemed in them.

“What have you done to yourself?” He whispered; rubbing Beat’s back as he broke down into the front of his jumper. “Fuck Prince, you’re skin and bone.” There was no answer forthcoming, and in truth he’d not expected one. “Shh, it’s okay. I’ve got you now. You’re going to be okay.”

“You were gone.” Beat sobbed almost incoherently. “You were gone and it was all my fault.” Blaine felt his heart clench at the realisation of what he’d put Beat through.

“Listen to me.” Blaine said; pushing the boy up, out of his chest. “This was _not_ your fault. I couldn’t stay there anymore, but it was _never_ about you.”

“But I let you go to get your things, and you never came back. I should have gone with you; I should have stayed…”

“Don’t do this Edward.” Blaine said sternly; making a valiant attempt not to fall apart right there and then. He’d never intended _this_ to happen. Beat wasn’t supposed to be blaming himself for what he’d done; it wasn’t his fault. “Even _I_ didn’t know what I was doing until I got in the car. I was scared, and all I knew as that I didn’t want to be anywhere near the school. If I could have, I’d have brought you with me.”

“I thought you were dead.” Beat sobbed heavily. “I thought you were gone.” Blaine pulled the boy back into his arms and they sat; curled together until Beat cried himself out. Bea watched with sad eyes as Darren calmed the tiny boy down, and she flicked her eyes up to see Wes; holding onto Trent, his head buried in the other boy’s shoulder; clearly unable to watch the scene unfolding before them.

“Maybe you should take this upstairs.” She said softly; glancing towards the front door of the shop. “Less chance of you getting disturbed, and the apartment is much warmer than down here.” Darren was looking up at her with eyes full of tears and she knew that this was exactly what he’d been running from not even an hour earlier. “Go on boy.” She said gently. “Take your friends upstairs.” He nodded and pushed Beat back once more; the small boy crying out at the loss of warmth his arms had been providing. As soon as he was on his feet; he held out his arms once more and Beat practically clung to his side; his head burying itself in his chest, and his arms wrapping around his waist.

“Beat.” Trent warned softly; concerned that Blaine wouldn’t be able to hold the younger boy’s weight up the stairs; but Blaine shook his head and headed for the stairs to the apartment; climbing them easily; even with his arms full of his friend. They got settled on the sofa; Blaine wedged between the arm and Beat’s tiny body, and Trent moved over to the kitchen to boil some water for a hot drink as Wes dropped down into one of the armchairs; his eyes flat as he watched Beat and Blaine curl into one another.

I’m sorry.” Blaine whispered into Beat’s curls. “I never meant to hurt you. I just couldn’t stay there any longer.”

“You left me.” Beat sobbed. “You didn’t even say goodbye.”

“I know. But I never meant for any of this to happen. I’ve been running for so long now Eddie. I’m so tired. I just wanted it all to go away.”

“But you _left_ me.” Beat repeated; his hands twisting into Blaine’s jumper as he got himself worked up; his breaths coming out hard and ragged. “You just fucking left me and I couldn’t… I didn’t want to… I was _scared_.”

“I’m sorry.”

“After Detroit; Stan made me go to the doctors.” Blaine’s arms tightened around the younger boy’s severely underweight body; knowing _exactly_ where this conversation was going. “He wanted me to talk to a therapist, but I was scared that I was going to be like my mom. I was scared they were going to lock me up like they did to her. I _needed_ you, and you weren’t there.”

“I’m so sorry Edward.”

“Why did you run?”

“Because I was scared too.”

“But you left me.” The younger boy dissolved back into incoherent sobs, and his stomach clenched as he realised that he’d done more damage by running the second time, than he had the first. _He_ had done this to his friend. _He_ had hurt Beat.

He felt it coming, and was soon moving the second he knew what was going to happen; shoving Beat’s body off of him; despite the cries and the protests; and he bolted towards the bathroom. Trent was there in an instant; running a cloth under the cold tap to hold against his forehead as he emptied his stomach into the toilet. By the time he surfaced his face was a mixture of tears and snot, and he could barely register Trent’s words as the older boy wiped his face for him and pushed a glass of water to his lips.

“I can’t do this.” He croaked; looking up at Trent with exhausted eyes; having missed everything Trent had said. “Please.”

“What are you asking D?” Trent questioned; falling to his knees beside the other boy. “What do you need me to do?”

“Take him back.” Blaine replied weakly. “Take them _both_ back. _Please_.” Trent took a deep breath and decided it was time to start laying out a few home truths.

“Would you really ask that of me?” He said; raising his eyebrow. “I know you’re scared Blaine, but so are _we_. We’re terrified that we are going to lose you again. That we _have_ lost you. The amazing boy I knew wouldn’t be pleading with me to purposefully hurt Beat, or Wes for that matter. We’re not going to hurt _you_ Blaine. We just wanted to see you.”

“And now you have. So please _go_.” The younger boy replied; his voice going hard.

“Is that really what you want?” Trent asked; watching Blaine waver for a minute before the younger boy nodded his head.

“Yes. I want them gone.”

“Well, I’m not staying without them.” Trent said; reading between the gaps in their conversation. “Beat can’t drive and Wes is in no fit state. If you want us gone, then we’re _all_ going. I’ve watched everyone around me mourn you Devon. _I’ve_ mourned you. I can’t stay here knowing that they will need me if you do this. I can’t abandon them.”

“Do you mean like I did?” Blaine spat. “Go on, say it.”

“I won’t, because it isn’t true. You ran because you were scared, not because you don’t love us. But this? This is different. We’re _here_ and we _love_ you. We’re not asking you to come back to Ohio with us, we know that you’ll have made a life for yourself here. We just wanted to see you, and to help Beat.”

“ _I_ did that to him.” Blaine whispered; his face full of devastation. “To both of them, and to _you_ as well. I’ve destroyed everything. How long will you ask me to sit and listen to you tell me how much? Because I _can’t_ do it. Please Trent, take them home.” The older boy knew that if he pushed the issue, they would most likely lose Blaine again, and that was the last thing he wanted; so, he did the only thing he _could_ do.

He conceded.

* * *

Nick, Jeff, Thad and David watched in horror as Trent practically carried a screaming Beat up the stairs to their hotel room. The younger boy was kicking and punching and sobbing and yelling Blaine’s name, over and over again but his recent and dramatic weight loss meant that he had little chance of escaping the larger boy’s arms. Wes trailed behind them; his eyes dead and glazed over; and the four of them sprang into action.

Thad headed towards Trent, in order to help with Beat, whilst the other three moved to intercept Wes; who looked as though he was close to passing out. When they reached him; he stopped as if on autopilot; looking straight through them; nothing on his face to even give them a clue as to what had happened.

“Wes?” David coaxed softly; stepping forwards and reaching an arm out. “Come with us, let’s get you settled back upstairs.” Wes nodded but gave no other indication that he knew what David had said; and Nick and Jeff took one of his hands each; leading him up. They got him settled on the edge of the sofa; wincing every time the noise from Beat and Sebastian’s room grew loud enough to be heard through the wall.

“Why?” Wes finally asked; looking up at Nick; his eyes unfocused and glazed. “Why would you send us away?”

“I’m not sending you anywhere.” Nick replied gently; trying to ignore how much he wanted to cry at seeing his friend in this state. “Is that what happened? Did Blaine not want to see you?” Wes flinched at Blaine’s name and Nick knew he’d guessed correctly. “Will you go and grab his backpack for me?” He asked David quietly. The other boy nodded and slipped out of the room. “Wes, I need you to try and focus for me.” Nick said softly. “I’m going to ask you to do some things, so I need you in the room with me instead of inside your head okay?” Wes nodded; but in honesty neither Nick nor Jeff were convinced that he understood. The door opened once more and Evan shuffled into the room; Wes’s bag in his hands.

“David had to go and help Thad and Trent.” He said quietly; his cheeks suspiciously wet. “I’ve got his bag.”

“Thank you, Evan.” Nick said calmly; still trying to block out the cries from Beat next door. “There’s a pack labelled emergency in the front pocket; would you mind grabbing it out and going and getting us a bottle of water?” The young boy did as he was asked; ignoring the fact that there were two bottles of water already at the side of the bed; knowing that what they were really asking for was space.

“What are you looking for?” Jeff asked softly as his boyfriend sifted through the pack.

“His meds, lavender oil and a cloth.”

“What meds?” Jeff asked in a whisper; his eyes wide. Nick shook his head and pulled out a small box; his eyes flickering over the prescription sticker on the back. He sighed in what sounded like a mixture of frustration and relief, and pushed out one of the pills; placing it on the side table before diving back into the pack; this time pulling out a separate box of lavender capsules and a tube of lavender oil.

“You can take one of each right?” He asked quietly to Wes; who was watching with vacant eyes. “I need you to focus for me Wes.” He added; reaching out to cup the other boy’s cheek; coaxing Wes to make eye contact. “Can you take your meds with the lavender?” Wes nodded slowly and Nick smiled. “You’re doing great.” He said softly. “You forgot to take your meds, earlier didn’t you?” Another nod. “Will it be okay taking it now?” Wes shrugged and a look of apprehension crossed Nick’s face. “I need Trent.” He said quietly to Jeff. “I know he’s busy but this is an emergency.”

“I’ll see what I can do.” His boyfriend replied; throwing one last confused look at the small pill on the table before heading out of the room.

* * *

“Why are you pushing them away?” Bea asked gently as Darren pushed his soup around his bowl with a spoon. “You all care about one another, so why shut them out?”

“Because I hurt them.” He replied in a whisper. “I hurt them so much that the three of them are in therapy, and Prince thought he was going mad.”

“His mother?” She asked; Blaine having filled her in on some of the younger boy’s background. Blaine nodded and she winced what all of them must be dealing with. “It sounds like you all need each other more than you realise.”

“They don’t need me.” He said bitterly. “All I’ve done is hurt them. You saw them too Bea, tell me they aren’t suffering because of what I did. Tell me I _didn’t_ cause that.”

“Did you mean to hurt them?” She asked; quirking an unimpressed eyebrow.

“Of course, I didn’t.” He snapped back. “But it still fucking happened, and it happened because of _me_. It was a mistake to stay here, I should have left when I had the chance. Let them grieve and move on.”

“Do you think that would have been the best thing for them?”

“As opposed to driving clear into another country on the off chance that I might still be alive?” He growled. “As opposed to chasing ghosts? Look me in the eye and tell me this wasn’t a mistake.”

“This _wasn’t_ a mistake.” She said sternly; forcing him to make eye contact with her. “I heard you all, last night. I heard you singing. I heard you all drawing comfort from one another, and if you even _think_ about regretting letting them in, I’ll slap you until you see sense. They _need_ you Darren, and you need _them_. You don’t sleep, and when you do it’s unpeaceful, I can barely get you to eat anything, and despite the fact that you have more talent in your little finger than I have in my entire body; you have no confidence in yourself. You’re running away from a bad situation; I get that, but _don’t_ run away from your friends in some form of self-punishment for what you did. It’s not fair on them, and it’s _certainly_ not fair on you.”

“You don’t know me.”

“Yes, I do boy.” She replied; wagging her finger in his direction. “You’re like plastic wrap, you’ve covered the holes, but you’re unable to hide _anything_. Now eat your soup and go and give that Trenton a call. I’m guessing by the way he had to carry your friend out of here earlier, that he’d be glad to hear your voice.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this chapter to turn into a full on sob-fest, but as I wrote it, it just happened. Please don't be mad at what Blaine is doing, he's scared and hurting, and in his head, pushing people away so that they don't get hurt, makes sense. I promise that this fic isn't all doom and gloom; it WILL get better, it's just going to take some time.


	9. Thoughts Leave the Deepest Wounds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> Sorry this chapter is another sob-fest. It'll get better, I promise, but to that end;
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING - For mentions of suicide, self harm, and depression.

“Since when does he take these?” Jeff whispered; lifting the box of Lexapro off the bed and reading the prescription label. “Nick, these are antidepressants.”

“And you haven’t seen them.” Nick replied quietly; taking the box back out of his boyfriend’s hands and zipping it back into the pack. “His mother prescribed them; in case you were wondering.”

“But Nick…”

“Later, I promise.” He replied softly; shooting a look at Wes, who was really too out of it to be following their conversation; but he felt uncomfortable having this discussion in front of him all the same. Trent had confirmed that Wes needed the medication as soon as possible, not even waiting for Evan to turn up with the bottle of water; instead grabbing one from the side table and handing Wes both his prescription and a lavender capsule. He was now flitting between bedrooms; eyes red but his face determined as he tried to balance both situations, and in whilst he was back with Sebastian and Beat; Nick and Jeff had been put in charge of watching Wes.

They had bundled him up in the blankets and coaxed him down onto the bed; but he was staring at the wall with vacant eyes; forcing them open every time they drooped.

“You can sleep Wes.” Nick said softly; reaching out to lift the lavender-scented cloth from the other boy’s forehead. “We’re not going anywhere.”

“He doesn’t want us anymore.” Wes whispered. “He’s moved on. Coming here was a mistake.”

“Just sleep Wes.” Nick soothed. “Perhaps things will look different in the morning.” Wes closed his eyes and within minutes his breathing had evened out.

“Is he depressed?” Jeff asked fearfully; his eyes wide; once they were sure that the other boy was asleep.

“Blaine has been his life for the last two years.” Nick replied; in way of an answer. “He’s been with him through everything; all the nightmares and the anxiety attacks. All the business with Kurt, and then with what was supposed to be happening this year. His life has been consumed by Blaine’s situation, and then Blaine just left. No goodbye, not even a proper text. No way of knowing whether he was still even alive. His mother prescribed the meds just after Nationals.”

“But they’re _anti-depressants_.” Jeff stressed again; trying to wrap his head around how this could have happened. “We would have noticed, wouldn’t we? Why is he on them?”

“Because he’s depressed.” Trent’s blunt answer came from the doorway. “And they’re one of the only things keeping him from a full-scale breakdown as of late.” He stepped into the room fully and closed the door; walking over to where Wes was asleep and he brushed the other boy’s hair away from his forehead. He sighed and knelt down at the side of the bed; pressing his own forehead to Wes’s with a hitched breath. He found one of the other boy’s hands and held on as tight as he dared without risking waking him up. “I’m sorry I failed you.” He whispered; his voice breaking. “I promised that I would always look after you, and I failed. Please forgive me Wes. Please help me to forgive _myself_.”

“None of this is your fault Tent.” Nick said softly; kneeling down at the side of the other boy. “Please stop doing this to yourself. You’ve been so strong for all of us, and you’re the only thing keeping _us_ from breaking down. None of us should have expected you to hold so much. None of us should have expected you to be okay. _You_ are the one person we’ve failed more than anyone else, because even though we could see you weren’t coping, we let you continue to run yourself into the ground.”

“But that was my job.” Trent choked out; the tears finally starting to fall and his voice shaking with emotion. He swallowed and pushed his forehead into Wes’s in order to have something physical to ground himself to. “I was supposed to look after you.”

“On whose orders Trent?” Jeff asked softly; reaching out for his friend’s shoulder. “Why do we need looking after?”

“I promised myself.” He repeated.

“Tell us.” Nick whispered; wrapping his arms around the other boy and pulling him away from Wes hoping that the other boy was too exhausted to wake. “Please explain to us Trent.”

“ _I_ wanted to come to Dalton.” He ground out; wiping his face and dropping against the bed; his legs folded underneath him and his head just centimetres away from Wes’s hand. “My dad wanted me to stick it out at public school, but I was terrified. Life isn’t easy for a kid that looks and sounds like me you know. My voice _still_ hasn’t broken, and I don’t even shave yet. Back then school was hell, and Dalton was _safe_.”

“But if Dalton is safe then why do _we_ need protecting?” Nick asked gently; following Trent down into a sit, and reaching out to take hold of the other boy’s hands. “Why did you make that promise to yourself?”

“Because I wanted friends.” Trent whispered. “And I didn’t know how to do anything else but be the kind of friend that people go to when they need me. I don’t like sports; I can’t talk cars; what else was there for me to do but become someone everyone relies upon? At least then I’d be needed. It would be _like_ having friends.”

“Trent.” Nick breathed out; his eyes wide and his chest tight. “You _can’t_ think like that anymore. We love you because you’re _you_ , not because of what we can get out of you.” He was completely out of his depth here, and he knew that if he didn’t get this right, it would cause more damage than any of them would be able to fix. A glance in his boyfriend’s direction saw him making eye contact with a horrified Jeff; who was shaking his head; his eyes wide and full of tears.

No, he was on his own here, this had to come from _him_.

“I know that _now_.” Trent choked out; wiping his eyes again. “But I didn’t then, and so I made myself a promise that I would look after anyone who became my friend for real. I made myself a promise that I would protect you, and fight for you; to be an ally and a counsellor. To be like my mom.”

“Oh Trent.” Nick breathed; gathering the other boy into a hug. “We love you for who you are, and we always _will_. Please don’t for a second think that we would ever abandon you if you needed something from _us_. We’re all here for each _other_. I’m just sorry that so much has fallen on your shoulders. I’m sorry that we have been blind and ignorant. I’m sorry that we’ve been selfish.”

“I just wanted friends, and it worked because I got the best ones in the school. I got you guys, and Wes and David and Thad. I got _Blaine_.”

“And we got _you_ Trent. We got to make friends with the kindest, smartest, most considerate boy in Dalton. We always say about how strong Blaine is, but we forget that it is you, who is holding the rest of us up. But you need to remember that you aren’t Atlas; you don’t need to hold up the sky to be our friend.” Trent laughed through his tears at the Greek analogy, but conceded that Nick might have a point. “We love you Trent, but what you’re doing to yourself isn’t healthy. You can’t blame yourself for this mess. It isn’t really anyone’s fault.”

“I keep telling myself that, and logically I know it but…”

“But you’re scared.” Nick whispered; when Trent trailed off. “And fear is never logical. But, it’s okay to be scared; because you’re amongst friends here, and we have all experienced fear. Let us hold _you_ up for a change Trent. Let us in.” Nick steadied himself against the bed as Trent’s full weight dropped into him; and he started rubbing his back. He looked up when he saw movement and suddenly Jeff was there; squeezing in at the other side of Trent and wrapping his own arms around him.

Together they would hold him up. Together they would hold _everyone_ up. With the pillars that were Trent and Wes failing badly; there wasn’t really another other option anymore.

* * *

Sebastian growled as he rejected yet _another_ call from an unknown number on Trent’s phone. They’d only just managed to get his younger cousin settled, and the persistent ringing was threatening to disturb his sleep. The concern he’d held over Edward’s mental state had grown exponentially within the last two hours. Seeing Trent carrying a kicking and screaming Beat into the room had certainly not been on his agenda that evening.

The phone rang again and he snatched it up; stalking out of the room but leaving the door open slightly so that he would be able to hear if Eddie had a nightmare.

“I don’t know who the fuck you are, but stop ringing this number.” He snapped harshly; before the person on the other end of the phone could speak. “We’re _not_ interested in whatever you’re selling.”

“Hello Bas.” Sebastian froze at the familiar voice; his nerves standing on end as his mind went blank. “Thank you for the message you passed on in Detroit. Is Trent there?”

“He’s asleep.” Was the automatic response, though in truth he had no idea whether the older boy actually _was_ asleep or not. There was a sigh on the other end and Blaine thanked him. “Wait.” He said hurriedly; sensing that the other boy was going to hang up the phone. “I don’t actually know if he’s asleep. He’s in a different room. I’ll go and check, if you like.”

“Yes, please Bas. Thank you.”

The tall boy stalked next door and quietly opened the door to Wes and Trent’s room. Nick and Jeff looked up as he walked in; but it was clear that Trent wasn’t going to be answering the phone any time soon. He and Wes were curled together on the bed; foreheads touching and their arms and legs a tangle beneath the sheets.

“Sorry Killer, you’re out of luck.” He said quietly; the name slipping out on auto-pilot; but catching the attentions of Jeff and Nick.

“Is that Blaine?”

“Can we talk to him?”

“Is he in trouble?” The questions came thick and fast from the pair and he held up his hand to silence them.

“Is that Niff?” Blaine asked quietly.

“It is. Would you like to talk to them?” There was silence on the phone for a few long seconds before Blaine replied in a voice that was already cracking through tears.

“I can’t. I’m sorry.” A beep told Sebastian that Blaine had hung up, and he dropped the phone from his ear; shaking his head at the two boys who looked heartbroken.

“I’m sorry.” Sebastian whispered; curling in on himself in a rare display of nervousness. “I’m sorry I always screw everything up.”

“You haven’t.” Nick reassured hurriedly. “God Stan please, don’t blame yourself either. This is no one’s fault.”

“And yet it was me who gave him the money.”

“And without it he would probably be dead.” Jeff countered back; shooing his boyfriend back over to Wes and Trent. He took Sebastian’s hand and pulled him out into the corridor; grabbing his backpack on the way out of the door. “Who’s with Beat?”

“Thad and David.”

“Will they cope whilst we go for a walk?” Sebastian looked unsure but eventually nodded; and was promptly pulled down the corridor by the blond.

“Whilst I have no qualms about being manhandled, would you like to tell me what you’re up to?” He asked; his front coming back up in a bid to maintain composure. Jeff didn’t answer and instead dragged him out of the fire escape and onto the metal stairs; sitting him down and shutting the doors before the alarm could sound. “And now you’ve shut us out, care to explain Sterling?”

“Don’t get smart with me Smythe.” Jeff replied; sitting down at the side of Sebastian and unzipping his bag; pulling out a pack of cigarettes; much to the younger boy’s shock. “And _don’t_ look at me like that. Nick doesn’t like alcohol, and I’m trying to cut down on the stress eating. I have to have _something_ , and you’re no angel either, so do you want one or not?” He offered the pack to Sebastian who took one of the smokes and allowed Jeff to light it. “Better?” The blond asked once he’d taken a drag.

“Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it.”

“So just why _are_ you feeding my rebellious side?”

“I’m not, I just don’t want you drinking whilst in charge of Beat, and this was the next best thing.” Jeff replied with a shrug. “I know you have a bottle of Courvoisier in your bag, and I know that you are in enough pain to be drinking it most nights, but Beat _needs_ you.”

“A fat lot of good I’ve done so far.” Sebastian muttered bitterly; shaking off the unnerving feeling he had about Jeff’s knowledge of his drinking. “They’re putting him on the pills.”

“Good.” Jeff replied with a nod. “Anyone of us can see that he’s in too much pain; _not_ to need that level of help. And besides; he won’t be alone.”

“You’re talking about Montgomery.”

“You knew?”

“You didn’t?” Sebastian shot back, and Jeff coloured slightly; ducking his head.

“No.” He admitted; pushing down the feeling of guilt in his chest. “And in all honesty, I wish I hadn’t found out.”

“Because you feel guilty.” Sebastian stated rather than asked. “And so, dragging me out here to talk is a little hypocritical, don’t you think?”

“How do you figure that one out?” Jeff asked with a snort; finally taking a second cigarette out of the pack and lighting it; taking a long drag.

“Because you are going to tell me that I have no reason to feel guilt over what happened with Anderson. And yet, here you are also feeling guilty over Montgomery and Nixon. Like I said; hypocritical.”

“You may have a point.” Jeff replied with a wince. “But you’re missing one huge, glaring detail.”

“Which is?”

“We’ve been around Wes and Trent every day for the last two _years_ , and we’ve done _nothing_ to slow their downward spiral, or to take off some of their pressure. There are things we could have done to help; and instead, we watched as Wes pulled away from everyone. We watched our senior year descend into a shit show, and we did nothing to stop it. However, there is nothing _you_ could have done about Blaine. Not unless you wanted him arrested, and most of us in trouble with the police too. You did what you thought was right, in order to help. You weren’t to know that he was going to end up here.”

“And what about Ed?” Sebastian muttered bitterly. “I’ve done a fucking fantastic job on _that_ front.”

“Again, we all knew he was struggling.” Jeff said softly; watching the smoke from his cigarette curl around his fingers. “We were supposed to be watching out for you; Dalton’s younger crowd, but we were so consumed by what happened that we couldn’t see past our own pain.”

“You’re not superheroes Sterling.” Sebastian muttered. “Neither are you really adults, not yet.” There was a silence as they both took drags on their smokes; each deep in their own thoughts. “None of us are old enough to have these kinds of regrets, are we?” Sebastian eventually asked.

“No. But life doesn’t always work out the way you think it’s going to, and I guess it has really screwed us all up this past year. I just wish things had gone down differently; that I had managed to do _more_. I knew that everyone was struggling, but my first priority was Nick; and he’s been having a tough time ever since Blaine started going on about conversion therapy.” Sebastian didn’t quite know the full picture, but he knew enough to know that there was history there.

“If you ever need to talk; I can keep my mouth shut.” He said softly. “I may be an asshole, but I know how to keep a secret.”

“He lost his previous boyfriend to a camp.” Jeff whispered; taking another drag of his smoke; his hand shaking slightly. “And then he lost his best friend.” There was a pause as the older boy tried to steady himself. He hadn’t meant to go down this rabbit hole, but he needed to talk to _someone_. “Jeremy and Nick got caught together by a teacher at school, and Jeremy’s parents hit the roof. Another boy; Tomas; got dragged into things and both he and Jeremy got sent by their parents into conversion in order to try and change their lifestyle choices. As soon as they got back; Nick went around to see them. He was thrown out of the house and called a fag by his own boyfriend, then a week later Jeremy was dead. He hung himself from his bedroom window.”

“And Tomas?”

“Apologised to Nick for the confusion over his sexuality and politely threw him out of _that_ house too. Two days after Jeremy was found he overdosed.”

“Jesus.” Sebastian breathed; his eyes wide as he began to see the pair’s situation in a completely different light.

“He came to Dalton half way through our Freshman year.” Jeff said with a bitter laugh. “I prevented two attempts before I finally convinced him to go to therapy. It’s how we met Trent properly; Nick saw his mom for over two years.”

“And what happened with Anderson triggered something.”

“You could say that. But I feel guilty you know? My parents love me for who I am, and I’ve only ever known private schools, where everyone can be who they are without fear. I never knew anything different until I met Nick, and then Trent, and then Blaine. I feel like the outsider most of the time, because compared to them my life has been perfect.”

“Being sheltered is not a bad thing.” Sebastian said softly. “It gives you a different perspective than the rest of us. We’re jaded, we have seen the bad, and it’s what we expect the world to be like for us. You are one of the people who can remind us that what we’re put through by the ignorant, isn’t normal, or right.”

“But it also means that I become a shitty friend when things get so fucked up, because half the time I have no idea what I’m supposed to say or _do_.”

“You’re here, aren’t you?” Sebastian asked with a raised eyebrow. “Shouldn’t that be enough? Don’t compare yourself to others, because I can promise you that none of us can compete with Nixon, though I don’t see how what he does is any better or _healthier_.”

“It isn’t. But he’s trying to change.” Jeff whispered; not offering anymore information than that. They sat out for a while longer; finishing their cigarettes before lighting another one each. In the end, they sat out on the escape for over an hour; talking and smoking, and when they went back inside; both felt as though they understood each other a little better.


	10. First Contact

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, you have my assurances that Kurt will be dealt with. I promise.

“You’re deflecting.” Bea deadpanned as Darren busied himself in the kitchen; the next morning. “You’re deflecting and procrastinating. Stop it.”

“He was _asleep_.” The young boy snapped; slamming the top slice of bread onto his sandwich and pressing down hard; squishing it flat before wrapping it up in plastic wrap and throwing it into his lunchbox.

“And you have just abused a sandwich because you know I’m _right_.” Bea shot back. “We can all speak the truth boy, but you have to start to learn how to accept it. They’re here to see you. You told me yourself that they were special, that they drove so far because of how much they _cared_ , and you’ve pushed them away and decided to take your frustrations out on your lunch instead of _doing_ something about it.”

“How can I face them?” He asked; spinning around with a glare. “How can I ever look them in the eyes and have the audacity to still call them my friends?”

“That isn’t a decision you can make on your own.” Bea replied. “Don’t they have a _right_ to decide whether they want to be your friends too? I don’t believe for a second that you no longer care for them; and nor do I believe that they no longer care about _you_. You can’t be pushing them away for fear of rejection, because there isn’t rejection coming. There’s friendship, and warmth and love. You have to try again, even if it’s just a coffee with Trenton.”

“What’s the legal drinking age up here?” He asked; an idea forming in his head.

“Eighteen. But if you get arrested you can forget sleeping here anymore.”

“It’s not for me.” He replied; shaking his head. “Although for the crazy idea that’s just crossed my mind, some Dutch courage sounds tempting.”

“I didn’t say not to drink.” Bea replied with a wry smile. “Hell, when I was your age I was clubbing, and I’m not naïve enough to think that you haven’t drank before. Just, don’t do anything rash, and _don’t_ get arrested.”

“Did I ever tell you how cool you are?” Bea laughed at that and glanced at the clock; ushering him out of the door with his school bag, guitar and gym kit in hand.

* * *

“Need a lift?” He spun around at the sound of the voice, and saw Kurt leaning against his car with a smile on his face.

“No thank you.” He said curtly; starting to stride off in the direction of his school, he did _not_ have the energy to be dealing with Kurt.

“Blaine wait!” The younger boy shouted; running to catch him up. “Please just stop and talk to me.”

“I’m going to be late, and my name is _Darren_.”

“Please, just stop for a minute.” Kurt called again; trying to keep up with his fast steps.

“What do you want me to say Kurt?” The older boy shouted; rounding on Kurt with fury on his face. “You posted some horrible tags on that video, and then stalked me home from school. I _don’t_ want anything to do with you, and I will _not_ let you hurt me again.”

“Like you’re letting _them_ hurt you?” Kurt spat in response. “Don’t think I haven’t been _watching_. You left school early yesterday because they’re messing with your head.” Blaine’s breath hitched and he started to panic. Kurt had been _following_ him. “Come back to Ohio with me. Forget them, and come and start afresh, at a new school and with new friends.”

“I _have_ started again.” He growled. “What do you think I’m doing in another country? I’m running the fuck away from the place that screwed me up so much. I’m _never_ going back there. Now leave me alone.”

“Or what?” Kurt asked. “You can’t exactly call the police, can you? You’ll be arrested on the spot.” Blaine’s breath hitched and he felt the colour drain from his face. “What? Your precious friends haven’t told you?” Kurt asked with a smug grin. “You’re wanted for running an illegal gambling and fighting ring. Your fuck buddy Smythe; sang like the canary he wishes he was. They’re closing Dalton because of it.” Blaine shook his head; his breakfast threatening to make a reappearance.

They couldn’t _close_ Dalton.

Sebastian would _never_ tell.

Why the fuck had no one told him?

“I have to go.” He said; running back off for the shop; tearing through the front and taking the stairs, two at a time; ignoring Bea’s protests. He started emptying his cupboards; his clothes getting shoved into his backpack; haphazardly. He needed to get out of here.

“Just what in the _world_ do you think you are doing young man?” Bea asked from the doorway; her arms folded and a look of anger on her face.

“I told you that I wasn’t safe here.” Blaine replied. “The police are after me. Someone squealed about Fight Club.”

“And have you bothered checking these facts before taking Mr Hummel at his word?” Bea asked; deducing that it could only have been Kurt who had wound him up and pointed him in her direction.

“He wouldn’t lie.” Blaine replied; shaking his head.

“Are you sure about that? Because the first thing I did when you told me about that tweetube thing, was a background check. I typed your name into the Google, and the only mention of dodgy dealings was about an inquest into some missing money. That boy Sebastian vouched for you, and claimed that he’d seen a thief take off with it, _after_ you went missing. He claimed that he had proof that you were nowhere near the school that night, and the police corroborated his story. There was an inquest, and nothing was found so it was dropped. So _now_ do you want to tell me that Mr Hummel _didn’t_ lie to you?”

“But Kurt wouldn’t do that.” Darren whispered; his face pale and his eyes unbelieving. “Would he?”

“You tell me.” She replied. “When was the last time you went near the internet?” He shook his head and she rolled her eyes; stepping forwards to grab him by the shoulders and lead him into the living area. She pushed him down onto the sofa and dropped her ancient laptop in his lap; gesturing for him to open it.

He clicked on Google and typed in his name; pausing as he hovered the curser over the search button. He shook his head. He didn’t want to know.

“Stop running.” She said softly; sitting down at the side of him. “Take that leap and trust that you’ll find your feet Blaine.” He winced at her use of his name. It sounded wrong coming from her, and he realised that he hadn’t been Blaine Anderson in a very long time. He took a breath and finally hit the search button; his eyes reading quickly as he scrolled down the news headlines.

**Search Continues for Missing Ohio Boy – Parents Questioned in Connection**

**Blaine Anderson – The Missing Highschool Boy, Presumed Dead After Two Months of No New Evidence**

**Dalton Academy – Charles Montgomery, Headmaster; Tells of How he Failed Missing Highschool Student Blaine Anderson**

**Thief in the Night? How Missing Money was Mistakenly Attached to the Search for Blaine Anderson, and How Rumours of an Illegal Gambling Ring were Dismissed.**

He clicked on the last headline, his eyes darting over the article, as it told of Sebastian’s involvement, and several students getting questioned into supposed ‘illegal’ activities. He scrolled down to the transcript quotes and felt his eyes fill with tears as he read over his friend’s testimonies.

_‘The accusation that the money was from illegal activities is preposterous. Anderson had been planning on gifting it to a local shelter, to help families who were struggling to cope after the recent austerity. Because that was who Blaine was; selfless, caring, and someone who dedicated his spare time into helping others.’ Logan Wright – Dalton Junior_

_‘Blaine had a charity drive every few weeks. He’s donated hundreds to good causes in Westerville. He was an amazing person, and a truly special friend to have. I miss him every day and I hope that wherever he his; he knows that we all still love him.’ Evan Lindley – Dalton Freshman_

_‘Blaine wanted to give back to the local community; so, he would often organise impromptu concerts to raise money for charity. That’s just who Blaine was, a person who fought so hard for everything in his life, and wanted to give back to the community who helped him gain his confidence.’ Trenton Nixon – Dalton Senior_

_‘Anderson had no dealings with the money, other than helping to raise it. I volunteered to be the bookkeeper for this particular drive, as the shelter in question holds significance for me. My dorm room was broken into, and the safe lock had been cut off. I have no doubts in my mind that this thief is going to be apprehended at the earliest opportunity. It seems to me that only then, will Blaine Anderson be exonerated; a sad state of affairs for this country when a boy who has been missing for a month already is accused of stealing from his own charity drive. Especially when that boy is Blaine Anderson.’ Sebastian Smythe – Dalton Junior_

“He was wrong.” He whispered. “He was _wrong_.” Tears started spilling as he laughed in relief. “Oh my God I’m not going to be arrested.” He didn’t know how it happened; but he was soon buried into Bea’s shoulder; sobs of relief crashing through him as the adrenaline left his system.

“I got you boy.” She said softly. “It’s okay. You’re going to be okay.”

“I want to stay here.” He choked out through his tears. “I _can’t_ go back. Please don’t make me go back there.”

“I’m not making you go anywhere kid.” She replied softly; feeling her own relief blossom in her breast. “You’re safe here with me, and so this is where you’re staying. For as long as you need.”

* * *

Sebastian hesitated as he bounced on the spot; in front of the glass door. Jeff had helped him to convince Trent that Blaine needed to see someone who had come through the whole ordeal relatively unscathed, and so with a hair trim from Thad, and a very long and hot shower, and perhaps a little cognac to settle his nerves; he was finally ready to meet with Blaine. Only he couldn’t bring himself to even touch the door handle.

He stepped back in alarm as the door opened, and a family of four piled out of the shop; the mother giving him a suspicious look as they went on their way; to which he sneered in return. He watched them disappear before looking up again as the door opened for a second time.

“Tall, thin and too cocky for his own good?” The old woman asked; raising an eyebrow. “You must be Sebastian. Come in boy, before we catch our deaths of cold out here.” He followed her into the shop in a daze. “He’s upstairs, first door on your left. Try not to wake him too harshly, or he will demand coffee, and I’m starting to run out.” Sebastian looked at her in confusion and she sighed; rolling her eyes. “He told me you were smart.” She deadpanned. “Come on then.” She waved him after her and took the stairs slowly. “I’m not as young as I used to be.” She said when they finally reached the top.

“Why not move?” Sebastian asked; raising an eyebrow.

“As if I could afford to.” She laughed in response; shaking her head. “None of you private school boys have any concept of money.” She knocked lightly on the door and stuck her head in; finding Darren sat against his headboard; picking at his guitar. “You have a visitor.” She said. “And a good looking one too. I might keep him.” She stepped back to admit Sebastian into the room and Darren’s eyes went wide.

“Don’t freak out.” Sebastian said hurriedly. “I just came to say hello.”

“I’ll leave you boys to it.” Bea said, closing the door behind her. “Be nice Darren!” She called before it clicked to.

“I don’t want you here.” Blaine hissed as soon as they were alone.

“That kind of hurts Killer.” Sebastian replied; pulling up an amused smirk when the reality was, that he felt like crying. “And to think I vouched for you.” Blaine frowned and ducked his head. “You didn’t know?”

“Not until Kurt stopped me on the way to school this morning. I haven’t touched the internet since I left Ohio. He told me you’d squealed about Fight Club.”

“I hope that a Google search put paid to _that_ idea.” Sebastian replied with a frown; sitting down on the bed and watching sadly as Blaine curled his legs up towards his chest; putting space between them in an unconscious decision to protect himself.

“Whose idea was it?”

“Mine and Nixon’s. We figured that so much of the profits had already gone to the charity that it would be believable, and we could pull some old Warbler videos if they needed proof for the concerts, but in the end, we didn’t need to. The police watched over the footage to see someone legging it across the school grounds in a black hoodie and mask.” Blaine frowned again; this time in confusion. “Duval.” Sebastian said; answering the unasked question.

“Did they know that you gave the money to me?”

“No. Not until after the disaster that Nationals was. I got into a fight with Montgomery and it all came out.”

“It was foolish of you not to tell them.”

“I know that _now_. But in hindsight I think it was more foolish of me to convince you that you needed to run in the first place. We could have helped Killer. _I_ could have helped.”

“I didn’t want help.” Blaine replied; shaking his head. “I _still_ don’t. I wouldn’t have listened, and you would have made everything worse. I just wanted to get away from it all, to escape.”

“You left a lot of grief behind you.” Blaine flinched at that and finally laid his guitar down; squeezing himself into the space where the headboard met the wall. He turned his face away from Sebastian; not wanting to see the accusation in his eyes. “I’m not saying it to be a dick.” Sebastian said hurriedly; watching as Blaine folded in on himself. “It’s just that a lot of us really missed you, and they were angry and scared. I waited a long time before I told them what I did, not realising that half of them had already convinced themselves that you were dead. I chewed them out for not having more faith in you.”

“I bet you _loved_ the attention.” Blaine spat bitterly; and a hurt look crossed Sebastian’s face before his mask was pulled back up.

“Not at all.” He admitted quietly. “My own cousin accused _me_ of stealing the money. After that everything went wrong. But it’s okay now; they know the truth; well apart from Eddie. Nixon didn’t think it was a good idea to let him know that I was involved.”

“Why are you here?”

“Truthfully?”

“Yes.”

“Because _I_ missed you.” Sebastian admitted with a shrug. “I care about you Killer, and I wanted to make sure you really were safe. Also, I wanted to plead Eddie’s case to you, to beg you to reconsider seeing him. It took myself, Nixon, Harwood _and_ Thompson at least three hours to get him to calm down last night. He was kicking and screaming blue murder as Trent carried him into the hotel room; and I was worried he was going to pass out on me. He’s not eating, or sleeping; and the therapist I sent him to helped to convince him that you really _were_ dead. He needs you Killer, we _all_ do.”

“I’m _not_ going back.” Blaine growled.

“I’m not asking you to. You have a new life up here; we all understand that. We didn’t come to drag you back to Ohio Blaine, we just wanted to see you, to let ourselves finally hope that you really are okay.” Blaine scrubbed at his eyes; wiping away tears he hadn’t even noticed had started to fall.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered; his voice cracking.

“You have _nothing_ to be sorry for.” Sebastian stressed. “It was me that planted the seed for you to run clear out of the state. _I_ gave you the means to do so, and _I_ covered for you when it all went to shit. If anyone should be apologising in this entire mess, it’s me. I spoke to Trent, and we had a very honest and very hard conversation, and I guess I made the same mistake as he did.”

“Which was?”

“I projected my own problems onto you. I saw parallels and did exactly the opposite of what I should have done. I know you aren’t ready to see everyone yet, but please; I’m begging you to at least see Eddie. I don’t beg very often Killer; but I’m making an exception on behalf of my baby cousin. _Please_.” Blaine glanced at Sebastian before turning his head back to the wall.

“Can I see Trent first?”

“I’ll see what I can do.” Sebastian said with a sigh; knowing that it was going to be the best he got out of the other boy. He just had to hope now that Blaine could make everything right; before his cousin descended further into his depression.


	11. Coffee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There may be a couple of days wait on the next chapter for this fic, as I have hit a couple of problems with it, and the next. The Green Edition will still be getting updated so just keep an eye out. Thank you all for your continued support, and I should be back updating this next week. Best wishes, Kiad

“Why won’t you see Beat?” Trent asked quietly; once they both had their drinks, and were alone in the booth. The older boy had agreed to meet Blaine in a coffee shop; not far from school, and had sat for over an hour wondering if the younger boy was going to actually show. He looked a mess, and Trent could see that them being here was starting to get to him; he was twitchy, and had jumped nearly a foot in the air when the waitress had appeared without warning. It was a mistake for them to have put so much pressure on the younger boy, and turning up en masse; had evidently affected him.

“You know why.” Blaine muttered; poking his coffee with the wooden stirrer. “Please don’t make me say it.”

“You’re not at fault for what’s happened to him Devon.” Trent said quietly. “We all failed him after you left. I saw the signs but was too caught up in everything else to do anything about them; it took a trip to Detroit for me to finally see how bad it was. We all took our eyes off of him, and now he’s suffering because we did nothing to help.”

“But it wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t left.”

“And you wouldn’t have left if we’d seen the same signs in _you_.” Trent countered back. “But I had been projecting on to you, and I knew that Wes’s temper got the better of him in difficult situations. I should have been honest with myself and asked for more help for you; fought harder to get you what you really needed. I’ve been trying to be my mother, but I have none of the training and even less experience, and I’ve caused so much damage by not admitting to myself that I was out of my depth. I did everything wrong, but with the best of intentions, and a lot of people got really hurt; _you_ most of all.”

“But you saved me.” Blaine whispered with wide eyes. “You gave me something to live for.”

“But until you came here, were you really living for _yourself_?” Trent stressed. “Or were you just trying to please us?”

“But…” Blaine trailed off and frowned; trying to work out what the hell was going on in his head. It felt like a bomb had gone off; scattering his thoughts. He _did_ want to live, and he had friends who loved him, and who had obviously gone through hell just because he’d ran away.

“Don’t think about us Blaine.” Trent said softly; knowing exactly where Blaine’s thoughts were leading him. “Think about yourself for once. You’re allowed to _be_ selfish.”

“I _want_ to live.” The younger boy whispered. “But you can’t stop me from taking you all into consideration. You have been such a huge part of my life, and I wouldn’t be here, to make these choices if you hadn’t stepped in. I love you all but I’ve hurt you so much by running away. _That’s_ why I can’t see Prince. I can’t look at him and not see what I did.”

“You made a decision Blaine.” Trent said softly. “I can’t even call it a mistake, because I don’t honestly believe it _was_. You are doing so well up here. You have a new school, and a home, and a _job_ , hell you are doing better than any of us would in the same situation. You are smart, and sensible, and yes, you made a rash decision out of fear; but look at where that decision has brought you over the last couple of months. Forget about how we’ve dealt with the situation and take a look at yourself for once. It’s _us_ who have not coped as well as we should have done. It was _us_ who should have had more faith in you. It’s _me_ who should have seen the signs in both you and Eddie, before it was too late.”

“How is he, _really_?” Blaine asked in a quiet voice.

“He’s hurting.” Trent replied with a shrug. “We kept the fact that Sebastian gave you the money from him, so he had started to try to grieve for you, thinking you were dead. But he didn’t have as much support as he should have, and so the downward spiral has been fast and brutal. He’s been struggling to sleep, and Stan made him move in with him, to try and keep an eye out for nightmares. He’s become introverted to the point of being socially anxious, and he barely talks to anyone now. He couldn’t even come to Nationals.”

“He quit the Warblers?” Blaine asked with huge eyes. “ _Why_?”

“Because he was struggling to cope. He was worrying about you, and then about school, and then about his mother; and the stress was all getting too much. We let him go thinking that it would help, but it didn’t. It just isolated him further away from us, and in the end, we were barely seeing him day to day. He wasn’t eating, and Stan told us that anything he tried to get him to eat, he just threw back up. He’s been relying on Ethan a lot, to get him where he needs to be, and his grades have fallen.”

“How can you tell me that this isn’t my fault?” Blaine choked out; tears finally starting as he buried his face into his hands. “How can you even consider asking me to see him; knowing how much damage I’ve done?”

“Blaine, it’s _us_ that have done the damage.” Trent breathed out. “It’s _us_ that helped convince him that you were dead, rather than trusting in your strength and resilience. It was _us_ who didn’t act; out of fear with what we did to you, and we ended up hurting him badly. The only thing I wish you would have done properly is say goodbye, and let us know that you were safe, but I’m also honest enough with myself to know that none of us would have let you go, and the toxic mess that everything turned into would have continued to the point of implosion. We failed both you _and_ Beat.”

“Does he even want to see me?” Blaine asked; wiping his eyes with his palms.

“Do you really need to ask that question? Why do you think he was such a mess yesterday?” Trent asked quietly. “Please Devon, I know that you’re scared, but so is he, and the pair of you need each other.”

“What about the rest of the guys?”

“They understand that you’re not ready yet. It’s hard, but they get it.”

“You can drink here.” Blaine blurted out. “All of you who have graduated. The legal drinking age is 18. Do you want to meet before you go back?”

“Only if you’re feeling up to it.” Trent replied gently. “We don’t want to push and I know how much us being here must be stressing you out.”

“But you’re all going to college soon, and we won’t see each other for a long time. The least I can do is take the time to apologise. Did everyone get in to where they wanted?”

“Thad’s still going to Princeton.” Trent said softly; knowing that Blaine was deflecting but playing along all the same. “And Nick and Jeff got into NYU together. David is coming to Harvard with me.”

“What about Wes?” Blaine asked; a feeling of dread in his stomach. Trent had gone very quiet and in a move that was very uncharacteristic, he had averted his eyes; towards the window. “Trent, what about _Wes_?” Blaine asked a little more firmly. “Please, tell me.”

“He dropped out of Princeton.” Trent replied. “He thanked them for their acceptance but he isn’t in the right frame of mind to be going anywhere right now. He’s taking a gap year.”

“He can’t do that!” Blaine breathed out; his eyes full of horror as he shook his head. “It was _Princeton_!”

“There’s things going on with him that I can’t tell you about.” Trent said with a grimace. “You need to talk to _him_ Devon.”

“Is he in trouble? For what happened with the money? Because I haven’t used all of it, and I can earn more to pay back what Sebastian gave me. I can come back and tell everyone the truth…”

“No.” Trent said sternly; levelling the younger boy with a glare. “You are not coming back to Ohio until I know that you are going to be safe. Wes isn’t in any trouble, he’s just not coping very well, and taking a gap year isn’t going to be the worst thing he could do for himself right now.”

“What happened?” Blaine whispered. “Why did anyone find out about the money in the first place?” Trent sighed and rubbed his eyes; trying to straighten the timeline of events out in his own mind. Everything had happened so fast.

“Two weeks after you disappeared, someone stole the gauntlet. Looking back now, it was probably a stupid prank to upset us all over again; we were so close to Nationals, still taking part in manhunts for you, and everything was going to shit. So, the gauntlet disappeared and Thad hit the roof; he came down hard on the Warblers at first; and demanded that they return it; saying that the Fight Club had been disbanded and that the profits from your last fight were going to go into the fund to help look for you.”

“And that was when you discovered the money was missing.”

“Yes. And that was when everything that _could_ have gone wrong, did. Sebastian and Thad had a huge fight, and they ended up being overheard by a couple of freshmen, who then ended up oiling the wheels of the rumour mill. Suddenly everyone knew about the missing money, and the unthinkable happened.”

“Someone found out about Fight Club.” Trent nodded and Blaine swore; dropping his head into his hands. “How am I not a wanted person?”

“Because Sebastian and I volunteered to take the fall. Beat accused him of stealing the money and going on a bender, it almost destroyed the pair of them, but the rumours about him started circulating. The day he came to see you before you left, must have been when he did it, and everyone had already been asking questions about why he avoided coming to Hummel’s place. So, Beat put two and two together and came up with four and a half, because Sebastian _did_ steal the money, but it was to give to you.”

“So how did the police get involved?”

“Hummel.” Blaine grimaced. That _wasn’t_ what he’d expected or hoped to hear. “He claimed that there were rumours around the school about an illegal fight club and gambling ring, and that you were the lynchpin in the whole damn saga, and so an inquest was raised to Wes’s dad, who then pulled both of us into his office.”

“And what did you tell him?”

“That it wasn’t a fight club. That you organised events to raise money for charity but didn’t feel comfortable doing them in school hours, so it was off the record and done in secret. Like pop up concerts. Thad had already dismantled the ring, and I had burnt the books so the only supposed evidence they had was the missing money. We all told the same story and Sebastian and Nick doctored the tapes from the night they found out the money was missing.”

“Then that was the end of it.” Blaine said quietly and in relief. “There were no lawsuits or dangers of the school closing?” Trent shifted uncomfortably, and Blaine knew that there was more to it.

“You parents tried suing the school for lack of duty of care. Hummel Jr jumped on board, and so did a few parents. That was, until Hummel Sr talked to your mum and dad, and said something that got them to back off. I don’t know what it was, but I think it scared them. There had been quite a lot of movement for the school to be closed by then, and Wes’s dad was in danger of losing his job. It all came pretty close to happening until Hummel Sr ran for congress and got in. It was something to do with McKinley, but he vouched for Dalton too, and went on in great length about how it was a safe space for boys that are different, and how you running away was the cause of a broken home _not_ a school matter. Seeing as it happened on a weekend, no one argued his point.”

“Burt stuck up for Dalton?” He asked quietly.

“Yeah, it was a pretty moving speech to be honest. A blue-collar worker extolling the virtues of a private institute? It touched a lot of people, and some have even started to offer grants, to allow for more kids to be able to attend if they are having issues in public schools but can’t afford it.”

“Then it’s safe?” Blaine asked. “For me?”

“No. Your parents are on a warpath.” Trent said; shaking his head. “But they’re being investigated for child abuse, and your brother was flown back from LA to give statements. You are safer here for now.”

“But what about when you guys go back? Are _you_ all safe?”

“Yes.” Trent said softly. “I promise you that we’re in no danger. The inquest into the money was dropped, and nothing came of it. The search for you has fizzled out because of the lack of evidence, and as far as any of our parents are currently concerned; we’re all on one last retreat before we go our separate ways.” A silence fell between them as Blaine tried to process everything he had heard.

“I want to stay here.” He finally said after a few minutes. “I don’t want to go back to Ohio.”

“I didn’t think you would.” Trent replied softly. “You have another life up here Devon, and I am so proud of you for making it work.”

“Would you come over tonight with Wes, Beat and Bas?”

“Sebastian?”

“I owe him an apology.” Blaine said in way of an explanation.

“Okay. Tonight then.”

“And tell the rest of the guys that I will see them before you go back.”

“They’ll understand all the same if you can’t.” Trent replied softly. “The last thing any of us wants to do is to scare you.”

“Are _you_ okay?” Blaine asked quietly; his eyes fixed on his coffee mug.

“Not really.” Trent admitted. “But I think you knew that already. I’ll be okay in time though, and I have my mom, and my therapist, and I talk things out when I need to.”

“I’m sorry I screwed you up.” Blaine whispered.

“No, _don’t_.” Trent said sternly. “This was all me. Believe me D, you didn’t do anything wrong. I have a lot I need to work through, and I had these problems way before we even met. I’m seeing a therapist because it’s been years since I truly felt happy in my own skin and those kinds of thoughts are the ones that you have no control over. I promise you Dev, that I would have needed a therapist once I got to Harvard, regardless. I hide things from all of you because that is who I am, but now it’s time I worked through some of this stuff. Maybe if I had done so earlier; I wouldn’t have made such a mess of things between us.”

“Are they helpful?” Blaine asked quietly.

“She’s _very_ helpful. I’m glad I went.”

“I think I need one.”

“And I think that is a very mature outlook to have. Just remember though, that if you go to speak to someone, you have to be one-hundred percent honest with them; about who you are, and about where you’re from. No hiding anything.”

“And they won’t try to send me back to my parents?” Trent looked unsure at that. This wasn’t America, and he wasn’t sure what rules therapists would have to follow here.

“I’ll do some research and get back to you.” He said finally. “There are confidentiality laws here, but I’m not sure how they would affect runaways.”

“You’re still coming tonight, right?” Blaine asked out of the blue; his shoulders going tense as he glanced out of the window.

“Of course, and I’ll bring the other three.”

“Can I see you later then?” Trent nodded; on edge by the Blaine’s sudden shift in demeanour. The other boy’s hackles were evidently raised and he watched as he grabbed his stuff and practically ran to the door. He soon had his answers when he spotted Kurt joining the coffee queue, and he too beat a hasty retreat, before the younger boy could see him.


	12. Sleeping it Off

Trent and Sebastian entered the shop in the early evening; Beat and Wes being pulled along by the other two; both with glazed eyes, and faraway expressions; and Bea’s heart broke for the four boys who were so evidently hurting because of her ward’s own fear. She studied each one in turn; taking note of their conditions and trying to compare them to the stories Blaine had shared with her.

Although he was trying to hide it, she could see the cracks across Sebastian’s façade just as easily as she could see through a window. Sebastian was meant to be the strong, confident one, and Darren had even gone as far as to describe him as arrogant. What she was seeing today was a different person entirely. His previous sneer had been replaced by tight lips and worried eyes; and she watched him glance around the shop; as the boy unconsciously checked for dangers.

She then turned her attention to Trent, dubbed ‘ _the sunshine of the group_ ’ by her ward. The boy now looked as though he had the weight of the world on his shoulders, as if he was carrying a burden so heavy; that his back and head were bowed beneath its weight and his knees were barely holding up. She knew that he was supposed to be the rational one. The _strong_ one. The buffer between the big personalities of Wes and Sebastian and the boy on which everyone could depend. The Godfather; Darren had called him. Now he just looked _tired_.

Turning her attention to the third boy; Bea could see that something had changed in Wes overnight. He had already been quiet, and painfully unsure of himself; relying on Trent to take charge. Now, he looked dead to the world; catatonic almost; following his friend on instinct, rather than conscious thought. His eyes had a certain glaze to them; as though they were staring into nothingness, and she felt her heart contract painfully, as horrifying questions about his mental state; crossed her mind.

“Is he upstairs?” Sebastian asked softly; before she could look over the smallest boy of the group. Edward it seemed; had no intentions of removing either his hands or his face from his older cousin’s sweater. The younger boy seemed to be clinging to Sebastian for all he was worth; and she saw his knuckles turn white as he clenched his fists into the woollen garment.

“Yes, but before you go to find him; why don’t you all come and sit behind here with me, and tell me how you are holding up? I want to know that you are okay; just as much as I wish to help Darren.” The older boys looked at each other; evidently unsure; but they were prevented from voicing their concerns by the youngest.

“His name is Blaine.” Edward whispered into Sebastian’s side; but she heard it all the same.

“Maybe to _you_ little one.” Bea replied softly. “But to me; he is Darren Bishop, and that is how it will stay until he tells me otherwise. Now come and take a seat; you can even have his favourite bean bag if you like. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.” The tiny boy forcibly removed himself from his cousin’s sweater to shuffle over; too used to following orders or _‘suggestions_ ’ from Ethan to do anything else. He looked half terrified and half exhausted as he curled up in a foetal position on the floor; his head and shoulders sinking into the bag; him using it like a pillow. His eyes closed as he breathed in the lingering smell of Blaine’s deodorant, and his hands knotted into fists; getting shoved into his armpits in a bid to keep them warm.

“Here you go little one.” She whispered; passing her own blanket down for the boy to wrap himself in; in the hopes that he would manage to stave off the cold. With so little meat on him, she was surprised he wasn’t half frozen to death. He sat up and took it with a trembling hand; looking at her questioningly. “Go on kid.” She urged softly. “Before your lips start to turn blue.” He hugged it close to his chest for a moment and Sebastian sighed; kneeling down to take it from him and wrap him in it; smoothing his hair back as he once more sank into the bean bag.

“Is he okay there for a bit?” Trent asked; watching as Beat practically passed out on the floor; his body relaxing into the leather beanbag and his eyebrows parting from their previous frown. He looked peaceful; like this, and given what he’d been through over the last few months; Trent considered it a small miracle.

“He’s fine.” Bea replied with a sad smile. “He’ll be safe behind here with me. I’ll watch over him if you wish to see Darren. Goodness knows he could do with the sleep.”

“I’ll stay with him.” Sebastian whispered; turning to the two older boys. “You both should see him before we do.”

“I’ll come and get you as soon as he’s ready.” Trent said softly.

“Even if he changes his mind about seeing me, please ask him to at least see Eddie.” Sebastian whispered; in a bout of insecurity. “I don’t know if I could cope with another breakdown like last night’s.” Trent caught Bea’s wince at that, and recognised that the woman was desperate to intervene on behalf of their whole group. It was obvious that Blaine had told her stories about them, and he wondered just how much she knew about their situation.

“I promise that I will try.” Trent said softly. “Thank you, Ms…”

“Bishop.” Bea replied with a nod and a smile; when it was obvious that Trent didn’t know how to address her. “Bea Bishop. My parents were comedians.” Trent gave a ghost of a smile at that, and thanked her again; taking Wes’s hand and guiding him up the stairs; and towards Blaine.

“I know that you are hurting just as much as they are boy.” She said; turning to Sebastian when she was sure the pair of older boys were out of earshot. “Tell me why you are putting yourself through this. It is evident that you wish to see him just as much as they do.” Sebastian sighed moved to sit down; leaning up against the back of the counter and watching Beat sleep for a few minutes.

“Did Blaine tell you that it was _me_ who gave him the money?” He asked quietly.

“He did.” Bea admitted. “He also tells me that you are since regretting it.”

“it’s hard _not_ to.” Sebastian replied; shooting her a hard look. “If I hadn’t have given him the money…”

“Then he would have been _dead_.” Bea cut in. “Or worse; he could have been sent back to those parents of his and ended up institutionalised. He’s _safe_ here Sebastian, and it was _you_ who gave him the means to find that safety.”

“And in the process; I destroyed everything and every _one_ else.” Sebastian snapped. “My own cousin is going to end up on anti-depressants before he’s seventeen; all because I made the wrong choice.”

“Did you though?” She asked softly. “Because I’m pretty sure that Darren made that choice on his own. I know when I’m looking at someone who is escaping a bad situation; and please believe me that only one person would have been able to stop him from running, and that was himself. I don’t know everything that went on between you all, and I don’t pretend to be some kind of therapist, but I can at least recognise when I see people blaming themselves for situations, they had no control over.” Sebastian sighed and turned his eyes back to his younger cousin.

“I had control over _him_.” He whispered; nodding his head in Beat’s direction. “I was supposed to be there to look after them _both_ ; and I failed the pair of them after a mere three weeks. I should have done more to help, insisted that he saw a counsellor before things got so bad. I should have told him about the money.”

“Should have, could have, would have.” Bea said softly; waving her hand in a dismissive gesture. “It’s all in the past child. What is important is what you do _now_.” Sebastian looked contemplative at that as she considered it a small success that she’d managed to get him to listen.

* * *

Trent brushed a few dark curls out of Blaine’s face; smiling at the ridiculousness of his friend’s long hair and the mind of its own, it seemed to have developed. Blaine frowned at his touch; his thick eyebrows pulling together and his breath hitching in his throat; his lips parting into a small gasp. Trent was quick to soothe him; moving his fingers up to the scars which traced the younger boy’s scalp, and running his fingers along the familiar lines.

“It’s okay Devon.” He whispered. “You’re safe. Go back to sleep.” Blaine’s breaths soon evened back out and Trent coaxed Wes under the blankets; watching as he climbed over the boy to curl into Blaine’s back; his arms going around his waist, and his face getting buried into his hair. Trent had no idea how the younger boy slept through Wes getting into his bed; but as Blaine snuggled closer to his old dormmate; Trent knew that it was pure instinct driving the pair of them together.

“I want to stay here.” Wes whispered; his eyes tearing up as he buried his nose into Blaine’s curls. “Please, I want to stay.”

“Go to sleep Wes.” Trent replied softly; reaching out to squeeze Wes’s shoulder. “We’re not going anywhere for a good while yet.” Wes shut his eyes and he watched on sadly as the other boy fell asleep against Blaine.

He knew what Wes was really trying to ask. The separation and the guilt had destroyed his friend; Blaine’s former roommate being unable to see past his own faults, and his own mistakes. He had put the blame on his own shoulders; and the internalised hate he’d directed at himself had started to take on a life of its own. By the time Nationals had rolled around; Wes had already been too far gone for them to do anything but damage control, and it was testament to how much he’d suffered, when his mother had been forced to prescribe him the Lexapro.

Trent hadn’t told Blaine just how brutal the last three months had been on them all for one very good reason. The younger boy was struggling enough with the cracks that _were_ on show and Trent feared what would happen if he _did_ admit just how much they had all suffered.

Dalton had felt empty; the student populace grieving for a boy who had brought so much colour to the halls, and the Warbler meetings had resembled the atmosphere of a wake, rather than _actual_ practice.

Logan and Sebastian had been the ones to watch over the younger years; their facades barely cracking, even as accusations and rumours had been thrown around, and together with Grant and Daniel; the four juniors had made quite the team as they practically dragged the Warblers through Nationals; the seniors being in no fit state to lead.

For Sebastian; the pain of losing Blaine; had been overshadowed by Beat’s accusation of him stealing the money; and Trent knew that it had caused the older of the two cousins to spiral into a pit of guilt and quite possibly; self-loathing; not unlike Wes’s. He knew that Sebastian had not had it as easy as he made out; and that there had been problems at home, as well as at school. He’d done some _very_ discreet digging, and found out that the younger boy had left Paris under a bit of a dark cloud. The string of misdemeanours had included shoplifting, underage drinking and _once_ ; getting picked up for solicitation. It had been both enlightening and worrying, and Trent admitted that asking him back to look after both Blaine and Beat, may have been a mistake.

He turned his attention back to the bed and as soon as he was certain that the two boys were sleeping peacefully, he stood up from his chair; and made his way back down into the shop; finding Sebastian in full discussion with Bea; whilst his cousin still slept on the beanbag.

“Wes and Blaine are asleep.” He said softly; in lieu of a greeting. “I wondered if you wanted me to carry Beat up to them.”

“Could you?” Sebastian asked; eyeing Trent critically.

“I got him safely up to the room last night, didn’t I?” Trent shot back. “I’ll be gentle, I promise.”

“Fine.” Sebastian said with a nod; watching as the older boy easily lifted up his cousin; shushing him when Beat let out a groan. “I’m coming with.” He said out of the blue; giving a nod to Bea as he followed the pair upstairs and into Blaine’s room.

* * *

“Is everything okay?” Was Jeff’s greeting when he picked up his mobile. The rest of the group were all piled into David and Thad’s room; chatting away in low voices and waiting for news on how the other four were doing.

“Everything’s fine.” Trent replied. “Blaine was asleep when we got here, and I managed to get Wes and Beat settled with him. They’ve all been out for the last hour, and Sebastian is watching over them. How are the rest of you holding up?” Jeff glanced around the room at the tired faces of the group and sighed.

“We’re okay.” He replied. “Tired, and perhaps a little cabin feverish; but we’re holding up.”

“I’m not sure we’ll be back tonight, so why don’t you all get out of the hotel for the evening?” Trent suggested. “It might be worth going for a walk to get some fresh air, and stopping somewhere for dinner.”

“That sounds like a good idea.” Jeff admitted. “Do you need anything bringing?” There was a pause as the other boy obviously weighed up his options on the other end of the phone. “Trent?”

“Can you bring a change for all of us, some sleepwear and Wes’s bag?”

“Easily. Do you want me to bring them in to you when we get there?” He looked around the group; hopeful eyes staring back at him at the thought of seeing Blaine.

“No, text me and I’ll come down and get them. It’s not a good idea for you to be all piling in here.”

“Are you sure everything is okay?” Jeff asked with a frown. Trent sounded upset again, and he was worried that something had happened.

“I’ll explain in the morning. Make sure you all get some sleep; it could be a long day tomorrow.” His phone beeped as Trent hung up and he shot a worried look at his boyfriend.

“Is everything okay?” Nick asked worriedly.

“I don’t know. Trent asked us to pack them a bag and take it over. I need help sorting through what Wes needs.”

“Say no more. You sort out Sebastian and Beat’s gear, and let me worry about Trent and Wes. Are you going to be okay?”

“I’ll be better when I’ve seen that none of them are hurt. I don’t know how much more of all this I can take.” Jeff whispered; leaning against the wall and sliding down it; his phone tucked into his chest as and his eyes suspiciously wet.

“Hey.” Nick said softly; crouching down in front of him. “It’ll be okay mi amor. Things will settle down in no time. You watch.” The rest of the group nodded at Nick’s answer and rallied around him; reassuring him that everything would be fine. Jeff appreciated the sentiment, but couldn’t help but dwell on how things would never be the same again.

Finishing high school was a huge representation of change; but the world had thrown more at them this year than any of them had really been able to deal with, and Jeff was struggling to wrap his head around the fact that everything had gone to shit in such a short amount of time.

He wished he was going back to Dalton.


End file.
